How many of you have ever lost your wedding rings?
If I could ask for a show of hands after that question I’m quite sure that there would be a few brave souls that would step up and be honest, admitting that they had, at one time or another, misplaced their wedding rings. The rest of youthat HAVE lost your wedding rings but don’t want to admit to it (and you know who you are!) should be ashamed.
For those of you who admitted to losing your ring, I salute you! I’m also not even going to chastise you because I know that I’ve scared myself that way a time or two as well. The theme of the post, however, is not “have you lost your ring?” but “where is your ring?” To that question, I have an answer that may surprise you.
I take off my wedding ring all the time. Some people look at me like I’m insane when they find that out. One guy told me that I must not love my wife that much. I even had a lady who said I was rude to take off my wedding ring and she asked me what I was trying to hide! If you hadn’t guessed, people can get very militant about their wedding jewelry. Regardless, I take my ring off all the time.
- I take it off when my hands get swell because of injury or because it’s too hot.
- I take it off when my hands shrink because it’s too cold.
- I take it off when I travel because I don’t want to lose it again.
- I take it off when I go to bed at night.
Having admitted to losing my ring in the past (of course, I subsequently found it or this would be a very odd post), many people would think that I would never take it off again, given my choice. Oddly, or perhaps not so oddly, that is not the case. I take my ring off all the time and, because of the danger of loss, I put it in a little green jewelry box that sits on my desk at home. If it is not on my hand, it is in that box. I will not lose it (unless the box grows feet) and I always know where it is.
So the question of “where is your ring?” seems to be answered already. The truth is, however, that the “ring” I’m talking about when I ask that question is not jewelry or metal or in any way a physical ring. When I ask that question, which I do when people glare at me for taking off my wedding band, I’m not talking about the physical symbol of marriage that I wear on my left hand. I’m not referring, in some crazy metaphor, to the ring of skin on my left ring finger that is rubbed smooth by long wear.
I’m referring to the perfect circle that my wife and I make (or try to) with our love and our lives. Physical symbols are a wonderful display to the world at large, and to ourselves if we need them, but they are only a display of what we feel inside. I am not saying that the rings are not important and that the physical symbols we cherish should be tossed aside. They should not supersede the things they were meant to symbolize, however.
If I lose my wedding ring tomorrow and someone asks me, “Where is your wedding ring?” I can give them the same answer I would give them today.
“My wedding ring is on my finger.”
It’s on my finger… because that’s the place my wife put the symbol of our love and commitment.
“My wedding ring is in my head.”
It’s in my head… because that’s the place I spend my time thinking about my wife and our lives together.
“My wedding ring is in my heart.”
It’s in my heart… because of the love we share for one another. (Duh!)
“My wedding ring is in my soul.”
It’s in my soul… because there is a place inside me that belongs only to my wife.
I don’t need that physical symbol and neither should anyone else, really. The wedding band is a wonderful thing and it was meant to show commitment and love for all to see. It is only a physical symbol, however, of what should be clear regardless of what you wear on your hands.
My wedding ring is my life and sharing it with my wife.
Where is your wedding ring?
This piece was written by my husband and he sent it to me today and he asked me to share it with the readers here.