There is such a thing as healthy competition—the kind that spurs us on to be better people or to be more creative, efficient and productive. There is also unhealthy or destructive competition that keeps us from paying attention to our own needs and puts too much focus on external validation. Are you someone who is naturally competitive? Or are you someone who could use a little competition to get you motivated? For a single parent, making sure that competition has a reasonable and healthy role in our life can be important.
Don’t get me wrong—I like a little competition and I have found that competing with myself and with others on a minor scale has been a great motivator for me as a single parent—particularly in my work. I am NOT, however, someone who is worried about having a bigger house, faster car or competing on a material level and I do NOT think it is possible to have a healthy competition around being the “best” parent. Also, when we let our sense of worth and competition get caught up in what our children are doing or who they are becoming, we can get into trouble. If your sense of competition is telling you that you have something to prove—you might need to re-examine it and figure out if you are putting unreasonable pressure on yourself or your children.
Not everything needs to be, or should be a race. Challenging yourself to make more money or lose weight or spend more energy getting healthy is one thing—pressuring your children to “make the grade” or turning everything into a contest or competition is another. One attitude encourages us to be better people and tap into our potential; the other can harm relationships and create an unhealthy home environment.
See Also: Healthy Competition
Can You Cope with Competition?