Why Dont We See Grand Ma and Grand Pa

I was driving home from the hospital with the kids after we visited with my husband and I mentioned that their grandmother came to the hospital to visit to see their Dad. The kids asked me why they did not visit with their Grand Parents. Now this is a hard question for me to answer. I know what the reason is but I do not want them to have any negative thoughts about them.

Now contrary to everyone’s opinion we never speak ill of the grand parents or other in laws at all. I will not lie to the kids but I just do not need to tell them the whole truth. They asked why they never get to see Grand Ma and Grand Pa and I nicely explained that it was not that a choice that we have made but that they just have not been able to get together. The kids have asked if it was because of the fact that they spend more time with their other biological grandchild (ours are adopted). I again very nicely explained that the kids did not spend a lot of time with Grand Ma and Grand Pa even before their cousin was born.

This is such a hard conversation for us each and every time we have to have it. How can you explain to a child why someone does not spend time with them? I always make sure to tell the kids repeatedly that their grandparents love them and that it is sad they do not get to spend time with them but that their grandparents are the ones that are losing because they are not getting to know them. We make sure that we let them know that their grandparents are losing out on getting to know some absolutely incredible wonderful and amazing kids. WE always finish the conversation by letting them know that their grandparents love them very much and we know that the kids love them.

I am not sure what else we should say or do to make them feel better about the relationship with their grandparents. Any suggestions?

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Should You Consider Adoption Part 5

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About Tammy Woolard

My name is Tammy and I am 40 year old mother of 3 wonderful children who came to us through domestic adoption. Although we did not have any fertility issues we chose adoption because there are so many kids that did not ask to be born but truly want a family to love. We did research on adoption choices and decided on domestic adoption through CPS. You would be surprised the differences between each agency. The adoption process is nothing like you see in the movies. I am also a 5 year breast cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed my kids were 3, 5 and 7 I did so much research I may have driven my Dr. a little crazy but that is ok it is my body not his.

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