If you think a baby will solve your unhappiness, you might be right. But, not for about 18 years. I was watching Oprah earlier this week, and she had an entire show about happiness. The thing that caught my attention was when they talked about whether or not having children will make you happy. The majority of the audience said yes. However, studies have shown that parents are the happiest when their children turn 18. Why does anyone want to have kids then?
While this can seem like a depressing thought, it shouldn’t discourage us from having children. Motherhood is a wonderful thing, but it has a lot of ups and downs. My husband and I talk all the time about how frustrating it can be to be the parents of a 4 and 2 year old. We question whether or not we should have more. The time we spend with each other building our marital relationship is small. The time we spend with our children and taking care of them is far greater.
For me, motherhood has brought an array of emotions including frustration, fatigue, impatience, etc. etc. But, it also brings daily snippets of joy. One of my kids might say something hilarious, or run up and tell me they love me for no reason. These are feelings of happiness I couldn’t have imagined. As I watch my kids grow, I love watching them learn. I love the little conversations I have with them. I can only imagine as they grow even older, and become independent how much more my love will grow also.
Goldie Hawn was the guest on the show, and talked about her time as a parent now. She said that people are generally the most unhappy when their children are very young. But, now that her children are grown, and she has become a grandparent, she can’t imagine her life without her children in it.
If you are looking to have a baby to solve a broken relationship, think again. The stress on parents in those first few years of life can cause more unhappiness. While motherhood is one of the best jobs on earth and one of the most rewarding, we shouldn’t be running to have another baby to fix anything. However, the joy that a child brings for years to come is unsurpassed.
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