After all my tales of living with teens, I’m sure you’ve grown used to the stories of snarkiness, opinionated offspring, and general drama that the teenage years can bring. I can still get aggravated and sucked in when my kids succeed in pushing the right buttons, but for the most part, I am learning to roll with it and maintain a well-developed sense of humor. One of my recent sayings has evolved from all the declarations of misery and how “ruined” life can be for those between the ages of say, thirteen and eighteen on a fairly regular basis.
Now, telling me how unhappy they are is not a recent development–it’s definitely not relegated to the adolescent years. BUT, it takes on a new intensity over the age of thirteen or so. It becomes “Why are you determined to ruin my life!” and one of my favorites from my daughter when I caught her and her friends doing something particular naughty about two years ago, “What’s become of you?! How can you live with yourself?” (spewed at the Mother who had stumbled upon them.) Well, I couldn’t hold back the laughter on that one.
A while back, I was reading an inspirational book (or self-help as it is often referred) and a phrase popped out at me that seemed especially suited to the teens: “Eligible for future happiness.” Now, when I am being told how miserable they are, and about the horrible teacher who has stayed awake nights coming up with new and original ways to “be lame” and make literature a tortuous hell, I can remind them that while life really is in the pits of despair now, they are still “eligible for future happiness. “ Don’t you think it makes me sound as though I am a wise, Yoda-like guru (maybe I should try: “Eligible for happiness future, you are” to really assert my Yoda wisdom…)?
Now, I tell myself that I am offering nuggets of inspirational thought and encouraging words to the teenagers, but, in fact, I’m giving myself a thinly veiled pep-talk too. By taking myself out of the crabby, hormonal moment and focusing on the future when they will no longer be snarling teens standing in my kitchen or hogging up the bathroom, I’m reminding myself that I, too, am still eligible for future happiness!