The debate over what age is the perfect age to have a baby continues. More than 15,000 readers of Babytalk participated in a recent survey. Results were reported in the September 2006 issue with some surprising findings.
The breakdown of the respondents by age were:
35% were 24 or younger
30% were 40 or older
35% fell somewhere between the two age groups
Surprisingly the older moms, at least in this survey, were harsher than the younger moms. For example, 54% of the younger moms reported that an older mom had tried to make them feel that they were either too immature or inexperienced to care for a baby. On the other hand, just 12% of the older moms reported having been told by a younger mom that they were too old or that they lacked the energy to care for a baby.
Hold up younger moms, you’re not off the hook either. Some of the younger respondents were also harsh toward older moms. One stated that older moms usually have just one child so they tend to spoil them “like a grandchild”. Another respondent, a teacher no less, said that she saw older parents who could not keep up with their kids leading her to believe that older parents were “just selfish”. And one older mom reported that while she was shopping for maternity clothes, a young salesclerk told her that she wanted to have kids soon because she wanted to be able to keep up with them while she was still young.
The survey also showed that both groups seem to be on the defensive, which could possibly mean an underlying insecurity about their own decisions to become a mother. About a quarter of both groups reported that they felt self-conscious around other mothers because of their age. Surprisingly, more than half the older mothers wished they’d had their baby when they were younger, while 22 % of the younger mothers wished they had waited.
Happily most of the women agreed that there really is no perfect age to have a baby. They all seemed to agree that it wasn’t so much when they had became a mother that mattered. What was most important was the blessing of becoming a mother at whatever age.
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