For each of my children I have a special picture frame. Right in the middle of the frame there is a plaque that reads, “Journey – “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11
Surrounding that plaque are small windows to put in their pictures. At the bottom left it starts with kindergarten and it goes around to the other side of the frame ending with 11th grade. Then there is a bigger window right below the plaque where you put their senior picture.
It is neat to look at that picture frame and take note of the changes over the years. This is especially true for my 16-year-old who has more pictures to compare. The changes are very noticeable.
However my daughter’s frame is a little comical to me. Starting with kindergarten and going through 7th grade there is little change in her pictures. That is because she has worn the same hairstyle every single year. She has long, straight hair with bangs.
The only difference in her pictures is in 7th grade when her bangs grew longer and had to be pushed to the side. The trouble is that because her hair was one length it has always just kind of hung there. It was cute when she was younger but I have been trying for the past several months to convince her to try something new.
Although it was my idea, she finally asked me if she could get layers in her hair. I wanted so badly to say, “That was my idea” but I knew she had to believe it came from her. So I took her last week to the hairdresser and she finally got a new look.
When she emerged from the chair I was shocked. Not only did she look different but she looked a couple years older and quite beautiful. Suddenly I was wondering if the haircut should have happened. I felt like I was going to have to lock her in her bedroom to keep her away from the boys.
She suddenly took on this new air of confidence. She felt good about herself in a new way. I think this helped her step even more over that line of leaving childhood behind. She looks more like a teenager and less like a child.
After the haircut she gave me a big hug. I think that was really her way of saying, “Thank you for ever suggesting this in the first place.” I really do believe she was grateful that I had come up with the idea. She just didn’t want to admit it.
A lesson I learned in this is that sometimes you can make a suggestion to your teen and it will seem like they aren’t listening or like they think it’s a dumb idea. However the reality is that they are probably really taking it in and when faced with a situation, they will likely recall your words.
Granted, a haircut is not a life-altering event. However there are times when the words we speak are going to make a difference in their life, a significant difference.
I have felt many times that my teens aren’t listening to a single word I say. Then I will overhear them repeating what I said to someone else. Or they will make a decision that I know was based on something I told them. I don’t say, “I told you so.” Let them think it was their decision. Just know that when you are sure it isn’t true, your teen really is listening.
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