BOBBEED's comments

Defending Yourself against the Aging Narcissist (2)

01 Oct 2009 09:58 AM

You are wise to excommunicate yourself with your Mother. I did for many years and I was finally at peace from a women who continuously mentally abused me. I have a loving husband and children and allowed their love to comfort me. Finally enough was enough with my Mom and I just reached a breaking point that I realized I had to "Divorce" her. I was ready. Most unfortunately over the past two yrs.., I have had recent dealings with her because a brother passed away a few yrs ago and wake was held at her house. From there, the contact grew due to Mom getting ill and I was the only one who lived close by. While being cautious in my communications with her all had been fine until just recently when she returned back to her "old bag of tricks" - manipulation and pure utter mean spirited, child like behavior. Example: Her comment to me recently: "I think I need to move back North". When I asked why do you think that Mom? Her answer, "As my health gets worse, I need to be closer to family". Couldn't help but react with "What am I, dog crap"? I should have ignored it, but it hit me like a punch in the stomach. Here I am once again driving her to the Dr., bringing her homemade soup....and this is what I get. She has a favorite child whom she has done so much for over the others, and all she does is go on about her and her husband and children. This sibling is just as manipulative and cold as she is and I have very little to do with her. I let my Mom go on about her favorite but it is irritating as during that time it brings back so many memories of how often she made my life miserable and I think why am I doing this again? Time to pull away again. It is a shame, I was hopeful that time would have made her grow up emotionally, but I have come to realize she has a mental illness and I am wasting my life trying once again to have a relationship. I will keep it very simple, do the minimal as it is not appreciated when I do more - she feels the need to hurt me. I could right a book on the mental abuse but most could fill in the blanks-she is textbook Narcissistic Personality Disorder and also paranoid behavior. She has over the years "pegged" her children against each other and most of us think so we can not compare "notes". Sick, huh?