centraloregonmom's comments

Star's Death Occasions a Reminder of When and How to Mention Adoption - Blog Entry

24 Oct 2009 09:40 AM

Thank you! I work at a local TV station and thought it a "teachable moment" for my peers when we decided to run a story about the disappearance of someone. Everyone kept feeling it was necessary to include "who was adopted" when mentioning the person's adult son. Like you said, I see the relevance in certain situations, but it was completely unnecessary in the story we were running. I did eventually win out, but noticed the competition chose to include it.

Book Review: Before Green Gables - Blog Entry

11 Jul 2009 11:40 AM

The original series was a favorite of mine as a kid and I'm just waiting for my daughter to get old enough to read the books I've saved for her. We watched the movies together and it sparked a lot of questions- it was able to give her a lot of historical perspective on the culture of adoption back then, but also allowed us to talk about how we chose her and never considered "sending her back." Thank you for the information on the new book, I hadn't heard and am anxious to find it available here for me to read!

April Fools: Three Things You Thought You Knew About Adoption - Blog Entry

01 Apr 2009 09:54 PM

A quick addition to your "#2" point... many companies also offer adoption assistance to qualified employees. I worked for such a company during our adoption... I didn't need to utilize the subsidy as our fees were refunded after finalization since it was a state adoption from the foster care system. But, had it been a private or international adoption, I think it was something like $4k we could have been reimbursed with proof of expenses and other documentation. There are also certain tax credits out there for some expenses as well. I've always tried to point out to people that finances should never stop a good family from adopting!

Methamphetamine Exposure in Babies - Blog Entry

08 Mar 2009 08:05 PM

Kathleen- The foster daughter I mentioned above also seemed to have "black holes" as you mentioned. I wouldn't have put it that way at the time, but I know exactly what you're talking about. The first 6 months she lived with us, she consistently ran into the corner of the dining room table. It would happen several times a week... it was like she kept forgetting it was in that same exact spot each day. She had trouble "learning from her mistakes" as most kids do. I liked to use the term "swiss cheese brain" (like in Quantum Leap, the old TV show), because she would have to experience something over and over and over again to remember it.

Tands- I agree with Pam, to get a pediatrician experienced in Meth effected babies to look over the information you have. I will add: if the children are in foster care you should be allowed to speak directly with their foster parents, or whoever is directly involved in their daily care. Case workers can be great people (I have worked with some great ones), but they are often overloaded and under staffed and aren't able to get to know the child as deeply as you'd hope, they won't be able to comment as honestly. Also, I have known some caseworkers to gloss over some issues just to get the child moved on... like I said, I have known some great ones, but also some not so great ones. Our foster daughter needed to learn how to "communicate effectively" - if you want to call it that - she would "stimulate her gums" on my other children. My son was usually the victim of her biting and my daughter was hit several times with flying toys. Not to scare anyone away... I really think drug effected children can be incredibly rewarding, but make sure you are going into it with your eyes open. As far as the OT/PT, that is actually really common for kids suffering from all sorts of effects... my micro-premie daughter spent 7 years in therapy- and that relationship you can forge with a good OT or PT can be a lifesaver when you need good advice on how to deal with something really specific. (In theory) That person will be the next best expert on your child aside from yourself. I am a huge proponent of early intervention and therapy (whether it be OT, PT, or speech and feeding). My daughter had texture and feeding issues, and after 4 years we were able to have her feeding tube taken out. She (at nearly 9) now is my best eater, she loves to experience new foods and most people can't tell she had feeding issues when she was younger.

Adoption on Little House on the Prairie, the TV series--Part One - Blog Entry

15 Feb 2009 08:42 PM

We are on the waiting list for the DVD series from our library: my daughter is anxious to put faces to the names in the books and objects to the descriptions... I'm anxious to relive my childhood when I watched them on tv before they were re-runs!

Methamphetamine Exposure in Babies - Blog Entry

13 Feb 2009 09:44 AM

We fostered a "meth baby" for over a year starting when she was about 16 months old. She is now a very successful member of a wonderful adoptive family. One of the hardest things we dealt with when trying to prepare information for a forever family was the feeling of the unknown. I did quite a bit of research into meth and at the time (4 years ago) all the studies on the effect on kids were done from the perspective of the child living in the meth house, not prenatal exposure. I know they are now studying the horrible effects on the fetus, but it's too late for many families to be able to learn from- they are too busy living it! One suggestion made to me was to document everything so that down the road, other families can learn from what you and your child have gone through. The biggest problem with studying meth exposure is that every batch of meth is a little bit different. Did they use battery acid or bleach that time? Pseudophedrine or the real thing? And do those changes make a difference when it comes to the fetus' exposure? It's not like most other drugs that is typically grown or sold the same way everywhere, this is man's handywork.

Unexpected References to Adoption in Children's Books: Little House on the Prairie - Blog Entry

12 Feb 2009 05:43 PM

I know it's a little bit obvious, but Anne of Green Gables was one of my childhood favorites. I watched the PBS movies with my daughter a while back and found myself fielding questions, myself. I hadn't read the books or seen the movies in quite some time and had forgotten how blatant the story is at presenting the adoption of Anne as simply an opportunity for them to get some help around the farm. Similar to dealing with Ida (we recently read Little Town and had to deal with the same passage), I found myself giving a bit of a history lesson and talking about how times have changed... there are so many opportunities for that discussion through these books (even in how they get their food and keeping a gun over the doorway) that it was just another example to her. And I made sure to point out in the end (as you did with Ida) that, when all was said and done, a great kid was in a loving home. BTW, I have just as much trouble with losing my place and skipping stuff when they refer to the Native Americans and other minorities in these books, as my daughter is proud she is part "savage." Again, we try and use it as a teachable moment regarding history and leave it at that.

A New Normal - Blog Entry

06 Nov 2008 09:09 PM

Although I, too, tried to make sure my daughter (who is mostly hispanic) understood we were voting for Obama because of his ideas, she maintained that she liked him because "he is brown like me." I stopped telling her that wasn't a very good reason to vote for someone after about the third time she mentioned it. At 8 years old, maybe that is what's most important to her and I guess there are worse things to be worried about!

"Nightmare on My Street" - Blog Entry

03 Nov 2008 08:22 PM

The never-ending frustration with these types of issues is: we'll never know. When my daughter went through the worst of her night terrors several years back we worried that it was adoption related (abandonment issues, new baby replacing her position in the family, attachment related???). But, then a LOT of kids go through night terrors. For those of you who have survived, these are not just nightmares... they are terrifying experiences for both the sleeping child and parents, they wake up (or sometimes don't quite) screaming, crying, yelling nonsense. Usually they don't remember what has frightened them in their sleep - it's not a case of won't, but truly can't. Anyway, we then were convinced it was a totally normal stage in development that a lot of kids go through in late toddler-dom (she was 4, but with DD, that puts her close to a 2 or 3 year old emotionally), and we hung on for dear life as our biological son entered that developmental stage. He never went through the terrors she did, he rarely even has a bad dream. Now, is this because he's not adopted? Or, is it just because they are very different kids emotionally (he tends to wear his emotions right on his sleeve, so it doesn't build up?)? Or, because of the different genetic make-up? I drove myself crazy with these types of questions for a while (while convinced the night terrors were going to come eventually for him, too). It's hard to come to terms with the fact that I will never know why she agonized with night terrors when during the day she seemed so well adjusted. And, I'm sure it won't be the last time we deal with the unanswered questions of adoption and raising kids in general! They are such a mystery, when will we get a handbook!??

Almost Six Years Old, or Only Five Years Here?--More Adoption Time Muddles - Blog Entry

02 Nov 2008 08:00 PM

It is so hard to measure where they will be down the road. Honestly, if you'd asked me 5 years ago about her academic success, we would have never DREAMED she'd be completely mainstreamed (regardless of her retention status, mainstream is mainstream). There are days I wish she still qualified for special services (she just barely doesn't anymore), but I think her current situation is better for her psychological/emotional well-being. I can't even imagine what she will have accomplished before 5th grade :-) Just goes to show you it is best to look at each child as individuals... and to make sure your school does, too. I do wish I had more options, but where we live there are not a lot of choices of alternative schools. So, we make due with what we have, and we stay very involved with her teacher.