14 Sep 2006 01:46 PM

My life as of now..

I guess you can say that my life is starting to go a bit fast forward..

In 9 days I will no longer share the lastname with my Mother or other family members and share a new name that will be stuck with me for years and years to come! That does mean that  I am getting married to my soulmate,  or at least someone I do care about alot!

My body is finally adjusting to the changes that are comming up in the next few months to come, and a baby is sure the great reason for it! We now have high hopes on having our little one in our arms in March of 2007 as I hit the 14th week and gradually getting closer and closer to the due date.. But not too close as you can see..

After having a miscarriage this year i had high doubts that I would ever be able to carry a baby past the first trimester, but now that Ive made it past the first 3 months I have more and more hopes that it will make it to full term. Since you probably know the risk of miscarriage drops drastically! Its hard to deal with having 2 miscarriages in the year but you have to realize that it just wasnt meant to be.

But now that I am pregnant im hating ever bit of it. Waking up in the middle of the night to either pee your brains out or to puke you guts out. Being tired and crabby at all hours of the day. And having those frightening dreams that you are carrying 7 babies in your big HUGE belly. Its frightening me because I have yet another 25 weeks of being pregnant!

When I look back at my old counters I relize how far along I would have been in my other pregnancies.. The first one, I would have already met my little baby, and would have raised it for 7 months! And with the last pregnancy before this I would have been 28 weeks along and pretty close to having a little youngster!

But all I have to do is relax and feel the baby that is inside of me now, juming, playing, having a good time in my belly, as I on the outside is feeling terrible. Its my only medicine for what has happened in the past! Not that I want to forget everything that had happend, I just want to live my life the way that God wanted it to be, cause if he wanted me to have a child I would have already!

I will be just greatful that I am alive and that I have little ones awaiting me in Heaven.

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Jennifer Madison (6) 05 Oct 2006 02:31 PM

Wow...I admire your positive outlook on things! I had a missed miscarriage followed by a D&E 5 weeks ago tomorrow, and I try to be positive but it is hard.

Reading your post has really inspired me to look towards the future!

I envy your strength, having two miscarriages in a year! Good luck to you on this one, and I pray that everything goes perfectly for you!

How long did it take you to get pregnant after each miscarriage? I keep hearing that it is fairly easy, and I am wondering if that is true...