DarSC's commentsComments On: EverythingArticles Blogs Journals Photos created by: EveryoneDarSC Escaping the Trap of the Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry21 Sep 2008 05:52 AM I am just wondering why this problem seems so common in older women - or is it just from where I'm looking? My mother, while not the attention getter my mother in law is, also had many narcissistic tendencies, and sometimes I've wondered if her pre-feminist life somehow kept her from being a fully functioning adult. I am trying to find and focus on older women who are a more positive role model. Do you think that our culture has some cause/effect on narcissitic personality? Escaping the Trap of the Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry17 Sep 2008 08:51 PM Hi Beth - reading all these comments has been very interesting. The NPD in my life is my mother-in-law. I married into this family when I was 18, so I had accepted some of the weird behavior for many years. The final straw came when my 21 year old son was paralyzed in an accident, and her only concern seemed to have been that the attention would not be on her, constantly referring to her "broken back" (she has osteoporosis), and calling my son in the hospital to ask him to get his surgeon to recommend a neurosurgeon for her! My husband confronted her and told her not to call our son with this type of comment - then he was "attacking" her. The list goes on, and on, and on. I had breast cancer 2 years ago - of course she immediately had several "cancer scares". She just seems to hate her kids/in laws and is indifferent to the grandchildren and great grandchildren. I still struggle with guilt, because I see her only a few times a year - we live in Canada, and she spends 6 months of the year in Arizona. I cook a meal a couple of times in the summer, and see her at other family dues, but that is it. My husband phones her, takes her out for lunch or drops by once a week or so out of duty. But there is none of the closeness I feel with my kids/grandchild and some other family members. And somehow I feel that is my fault - because she certainly believes it is! I know this because of the way she talks about the other daughter in laws, and I'm certain I don't fare any better. I agree too that the aging process just makes it worse, although she still sees herself as quite a babe! Also thinks the world will end soon and is "religious", but I think she just can't imagine that it will continue to spin without her. |
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