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This topic contains 32 replies, has 27 voices, and was last updated by twinzplus3 4 years, 10 months ago.
January 21, 2008 at 11:29 am #182949
my husband and sincerely believe that our three daughters should go to bed early rather than the now more liberal approach towards allowing children to stay until very late.
we have twins aged 13 and they are in bed with the lights out by 8.30. and out 9 year old girl goes to bed and reads bt 7.00 and the lights go out at 7.30.as a trained doctor, retired, now housewife i know ho much quality sleeop and rest at child needs. our childen have to be up by 6.30 so they to go to bed very early.also they are not allowed dont have access to playstations, or a television in their after the lights go out.these only distract them from getting off to sleep.once a child goes to sleep he/ she rarely wakes up again until morning.they key to getting off to sleep qucikly is no the the fewest distractions possible. my husband was a headteacher at in school ina relatively deprived area.and they majority of they children had trouble concentrating, the y were agressive, and quite often they would fall asleep in class towards the end of of the day.they watched violent films and were allowed out until late at night.you may say that children need to stay up later now than when we were young because they get more homework. but even if they do an hour a night which cognitively is probably all thay comprehend they will still have quality time even with early bed times.we are fortunative that our children are well behaved. i do bot accept the arguement that children are born naturally intelligent. my husband and i believe that such one environment dictates a significant part of what makes us what we are.i am not a liberal free thinker. children need routine,and plenty of love.and they need stability.my husband and i went to bed even earlier than my children do when we were young.and i must say we were not the exception but the rule.i had to go to bed at 6.30 until i was 11.yes it was some time ago. trends change but the amount of sleep a child needs is still the same as it was ten, twenty or fifty years ago.i know many of you will disagree ,if you do please say so and why you disagree. and there will even more of you who totally agree and feel unable to talk about it for perhaps stigatising your self and family if anyone found out who you are. well they cant find out. please speak out. i will support anyone who needs my advice im new to this forum. i posted earlier regarding shoes off in the house.. you may think im a control freak by insisting on early bed times anf that every wears their slippers in my house, but im not its not about control. shoes and socked and bare feet in the are unhealthy and unhygenic etc.and yes this is contentious and unpopular in some quarters but many of you have spoken out. i hope to be able to contribute significantly.January 21, 2008 at 12:05 pm #966307
You’ve made a lot of interesting points. To many for me to respond to in one post actually! LOL I strongly believe that some children are naturally intelligent in some areas but definitely agree that their environment is the most significant factor in developing that intelligence. (Sort of a Gardner fan here.)
As far as putting our kids to bed early, LOL we don’t do that either. OTOH, our kids get as much sleep as yours do and I suppose if they had to go to school, we’d insist on an earlier bed time. We homeschool so they don’t have to be up until later. My twins who are 2 go to bed at 8 and the older 3 children go to bed at 8:30. I don’t make them get up at a certain time but generally, they get up at around 7:30 or 8:00am.
Welcome to families.January 21, 2008 at 12:41 pm #966312
well here it is 11:30pm and Gabby is still up, that said she is 6 months old and most likely will sleep til 10am, (plus she fell asleep on daddy’s lap so her time is throw out; usually in bed around 10pm) however when she is older and needs to get up early for school then she will have an early bedtime. i feel that children do need their sleep in order to develop and growJanuary 21, 2008 at 12:59 pm #966314
I do agree that sleep is important. . .but I also feel that family time is important. I know for us, in order to eat dinner at the table, be able to do chores, and then get to spend family time together. . .it can be no earlier than 8pm. LOL Maybe that’s why I don’t send my kids to school?! We’d always be late!January 21, 2008 at 1:32 pm #966316
welcome to Families, well my almost 11 year old ds goes to bed at 8h30 and my 2 year old dd too, my 7 year old dd goes to bed at 8h00. My 2 year old wakes up around 8h00 so she sleeps almost 12 hours and still naps 2 hours in the afternoon, which is good…January 21, 2008 at 1:46 pm #966324
i try to have my 2 yr old in bed by 9….but sometimes we have friends over (loud ones) and we let her stay up so she doesnt feel left out…we are in for a miserable next day on those nights though! once school starts there will be a strict bedtime…right now the later she is up the later we all get to sleep in!January 21, 2008 at 2:21 pm #966340
I always had my sons in bed by 8:30-9:00 when they were little and in grade school. That included the weekends too, unless there was a specific reason for them to stay up. Once they were in high school, there was no official “bedtime” but they usually went to bed between 10 and 11. Typcally we have been up at 6:30-7:00 for work or school.
Your hours are a bit early, but every family has to do what is best for themselves.
One thing I found when taking classes on parenting, I was surprised at the number of people I met with gradeschool-teen children whose kids stayed up longer than the parents, and for whom bedtime was a control issue. If you are married, you do need alone time that is free of some distractions. (to some point, it is never 100% free)
My aunt was a nurse, and she used to refer to her “training” as the conditioning she got in the army for procedures. Do you mean by “trained doctor” that you are in the military, or that you went to med school? If you have the MD, the you ARE an MD, not just “trained” as one and now a housewife. YOu may not have a current license to practice, but no one can take your education away from you, and it is more than training.
I don’t mean to be personal. It is just that because of the spelling and grammar mistakes, I found your thoughtful post very difficult to read, much like a doctor’s handwritten prescription!January 21, 2008 at 2:25 pm #966341
Our bed time routine starts at 8:30 and the girls are sleeping my 9:15. They don’t have to get up early, they usually wake on their own around 8am so they get lots of sleep.
Kal, 11 weeks old, OTOH doesn’t go to bed until 10:30-11:00pm! We are working on that though!January 21, 2008 at 3:14 pm #966355
I don’t think you can make a blanket statement such as “all children need to go to bed early, or should be in bed by X time”, as not every child is the same.
For instance, my brother always had to go to bed early, or else he would be a wreck the next day at school. In gradeschool he would be dropping off by around 8pm, in highschool by 9:30 or 10pm. Me however- goodluck with that. From the time I was 11 on I didn’t have a bedtime. As long as I was quiet I could stay up and read if I wanted to, so I would usually go to bed around 11pm….and would wake up just fine at 6:30-7:00am to get ready for school. In highschool I went to bed even later- usually around 1am. BUT- I was never tired during the day, my grades never suffered (I graduated middle school as valedictorian, and graduated highschool with an A average).
I just don’t need a lot of sleep- to this day the only time I have slept more than about 6 hours was when I was pregnant. When Norah is older and starts pushing for a later bedtime, I’ll probably do what my parents did with me. She will be able to stay in her room with the lights on, as long as she can prove to us that she isn’t a mess in the morning and that her schoolwork isn’t suffering.
Right now, Norah goes to bed at around 10pm, and is up for the day at around 9am. When she transitions to daycare we’ll have to move up her bedtime since she will need to be up earlier- but until then this works well for us. Otherwise, some nights she wouldn’t be able to see her dad at all, as he works 12hr shifts in the ER.January 21, 2008 at 3:24 pm #966358
My 3mnth old is in bed@ 7, and my 2 & 7 yr old are in bed @ 7:30. Eveyone gets up by 7 the next morningJanuary 21, 2008 at 4:17 pm #966373
I agree that each kid is different. With DS, I thought (erronously) that he would sleep for 12 hours at night, regardless of the time he went to bed. So, if he went to bed at 10pm, he would get up at 10am. Well, no! Not my boy. DS gets up at 6am (+/- 1/2 hour) no matter what time he goes down. So, if we keep him up too late, he gets up at 6am and we all suffer the consequences of an over-tired little boy. On the other hand, I have a couple of nephews who sleep for 12 hours no matter what time they go to bed….
So, yes, my boy goes to bed between 7-8. (Sometimes earlier, sometimes later.) It works for us.January 21, 2008 at 10:36 pm #966471
We have a bedtime of 8:30 for Kat and Kel, some nights Kelli has a hard day at school. And being small she gets tired quickly, so 2-3 nights a week she is asleep by 7. And they both get up at 6:20. Court is in bed by 7January 21, 2008 at 10:40 pm #966473
Your kids do get up earlier than most kids 6:30am is pretty early. My girls 4 and 6 are in bed by 8:00 and up at 7:00. My son is 8 and gets to stay up until 8:30.
Two of my kids are early risers and will get up about 7:00 no matter when they go to sleep. My other daughter would sleep in until 8 or later if she could. So how much sleep a child needs really depends on the child.January 21, 2008 at 11:51 pm #966493
my 3+5 year olds are in bed between 7&730 everday (unless there is a later special event on the weekend). they wake at 6:30 every morning and if they were up late, we pay for it. The 5 year old would sleep in if her sister would let her. our 9 month old is bad with a routine and doesnt have a “bed time”. He usually goes down anywheres from 7-9 and gets up between 7&8 am. i feal my older 2 need to be in bed early to get enough sleep, and when the baby hits toddler, he will be in bed at the same time.January 22, 2008 at 1:50 am #966513
wanna be a young mother
Well my hubby works until 7:00pm 6 days a week. So it would be hard for me to put Nevy to bed early b/c then daddy would never see her. I usually put her down when we go to bed which is around 11:00pm. She is up at 9:00am the next morning. I’m a stay at home mom so I like her being on the same routine as me b/c it makes things easier. Once she starts school she will have a bed time of 8:00pm or earlier. I never had a bed time in high school but I learned that if I wanted to be able to function in class I had to be in bed by 9:00pm. So I made my own bed time. I agree kids need a lot of sleep but isn’t there such a thing as to much??
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