Dodgy's comments

Coping with an adult with Asperger's (4) - Blog Entry

31 Jul 2008 12:49 AM

So, as an adult with Aspergers I am wondering, what are the chances of happiness? This might seem like a superficial question but truthfully I can say that I have never been happy, not for a single day. I recently turned 46, recently moved back to the west to try to mend a family rift after 27 years, and I also quit drinking nine months ago. I do these things without any emotional attachment to them at all, and this bothers me. It bothers me so much that I have stopped going top AA meetings because I am unable to speak from the heart when called upon and this earned me the label of"superficial", and "aloof". Neither of these qualities inspire confidence in an AA setting. My family refuses to accept the Aspergers diagnosis, maybe out of a sense of misguided loyalty to me, maybe just because they do not want any more of my drama. I don't believe that it would make any difference if they did accept it, nothing would change, nothing ever does for me. I would like to know, just for a moment, what happiness feels like, maybe then I would not feel the need to work seven days a week at two jobs anymore. Also, I have been having serious doubts about my no alcohol policy, granted that alcohol does not fix anything but it does make saying "I don't care" easier.