Fatherofeight's comments

The Violence to Young Children Continues - Blog Entry

25 Feb 2007 11:08 AM

Lisa, our birthmother had seven children in nine years, all are damaged and somewhere in the social system. She has probably had more, we told the system not to contact us any more (we have all we can handle), and now she is HIV positive. Getting pregnant was an occupational hazard of her profession. Birth control measures are unheard of, I think the men think it is not macho, also when I worked in prison ministry I heard a lot of bragging about how many women they got pregnant the last time they were out of jail. Also, birthmothers tend to enjoy having the babies, they get attention that they normally do not receive when pregnant (missions more likely to put up with them). Also, our poor pitiful birthmom had really not accomplished anything worthwhile in her life, so having a baby made her feel like she had done something wonderful. It is very common in the "drugged out" community in this area for a woman to have delivered double figures of babies, all seriously drug exposed. For at least one of our children, the mom did not know that she had delivered him, she was that out of it. A few years ago, I served on a jury, a witness to the murder lived in a "project" apartment, she was under 30 and had 10 or 11 children "just waiting" to be old enough to get pregnant and start the cycle again (girls) or get in serious trouble and go to prison, serving as a "sperm donor" when out on parole (boys). Almost everything that has been done by government to remedy these problems has failed. Pardon me for getting on my soapbox, but these subjects really push my buttons.

The Violence to Young Children Continues - Blog Entry

25 Feb 2007 10:51 AM

Pam, I know some will get upset with me to say this, but I see young children being dropped off to day carer before the sun comes up and being picked up late. A friend of ours who is a college student, worked one summer in a day care, she said kids would come early half asleep and be asleep for the night when they were picked up. She was essentially the parent during the week. It bugs me. Our birthmother, when she wanted to contest with us, went to court ordered parenting classes. We asked her what she learned when she "graduated". She had learned that you should not beat your kids and that when you get mad you should go for a walk (leaving kids with boyfriend no doubt) and count to ten.

Proposed Foster Care Reform in Texas - Blog Entry

24 Feb 2007 06:21 PM

Thanks, Gina. There is indeed some kind of generational thing that gets going sometimes. One of the things that really bugs me is when young girls are in foster care and they have children, then there is literally two generations in the system at once. When we were negotiating with the bierthmother, she kept talking about how she felt about her own birthmother signing her parental rights away.

The Violence to Young Children Continues - Blog Entry

24 Feb 2007 09:29 AM

Pam, thanks for your thoughts. I think that there is no doubt that the people doing these things, at least most of them, were not valued when they were children. They are living the life that was modeled for them. Your discussion of being kind of liberal got me thinking, I had sort of subscribed to the statement that conservatives make - when you are young, if you are not liberal, you don't have a heart and when you are old, if you are not conservative, you are not thinking. So, working in a conservative industry, paying a lot of taxes, having a conservative family background, made me pretty much on the right. Now, having worked with underprivileged people for a long time. adopting children who are dependent on various social services, seeing the problems of the poor, has changed my viewpoint a lot. Don't know where I am today. I can tell you that I have lost all interest in political people, I would like for just one to emerge that is not a scoundrel.

Funny, and Frustrating, Boy Stories - Blog Entry

23 Feb 2007 10:12 PM

Just a day on the ranch in Texas ladies, it is funny as long as they didn't bite it in half.

We had half of a snake a few months ago.

Funny, and Frustrating, Boy Stories - Blog Entry

23 Feb 2007 10:49 AM

Thanks for the encouragement rsbg. I thought that I had exhausted all of my material with previous blogs, now I keep a notebook to write down incidents as they happen. It"s always good to hear from you.

Proposed Foster Care Reform in Texas - Blog Entry

23 Feb 2007 10:46 AM

The system treated us the same way. There were things that we did not learn about our boys until they were adopted and we had the "redacted" file. I think that the main problem is that the general public just hopes that these problems will go away. So because a lot of people don't care, there is never enough money spent on the foster / adopt system. My thoughts have always been that if the government was proactive, and trying to fix the problems on the front end, then society would not have to deal later with "broken" adults, essentially resulting in needing more prisons. Our boys' birthmother was an abused child who was adopted, ran away from her adoptive home, and was on the street since she was 14 years old. Maybe more could have been done for her when she was a child.

Getting my Mind Right: What Now? - Blog Entry

23 Feb 2007 10:39 AM

Thanks, Lisa, I guess my years in the corporate world trained me to set goals and measure the progress. And you are so right, long term maintenance is THE thing now.

Funny, and Frustrating, Boy Stories - Blog Entry

22 Feb 2007 03:45 PM

Absolutely, we live like that everyday. Definitely keeping me young. Thanks for the comment, Jenn.

Proposed Foster Care Reform in Texas - Blog Entry

22 Feb 2007 03:24 PM

I have been there Gina. I know exactly what you are feeling. We finally have found someone that can stay over night with all of them. Our adult children are also able to do it. Thanks for your comment, it helps our readers better understand exactly what the issues are.