firstborn's comments

Escaping the Trap of the Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry

09 Sep 2008 08:08 AM

My sister and I have been struggling to deal with the ongoing emotional abuse of a narcisstic mother for years. Sadly her disorder has become even more pronounced since our father died as he is no longer around to "balance" her, protect us and provide the nurturing that we so crave. Her behaviour is so insidious that she has reduced us (we are both married, highly qualified professional women who are strong, capable and talented when she's not around) into quivering wrecks desperate to please her and terrified of unleashing her anger. In front of other people she acts like the perfect mother and acquaintances think she's fantastic. What hurts the most is how she plays one sibling off against the other (we are 4) and then turns around and blames us (the elder two) for not doing more to keep the family intact since my dad died! It is so sad and I can't take the abuse any longer. No-one truly understands because she always seems so sweet but behind their backs she criticizes everything I do or don't do. The sad thing is she has no interest in my children either. However I am very grateful for my sister's support, my loving husband and wonderful children as well as fantastic friends and in-laws.