I dread the holidays all year long, not because I don’t like them, but because they inevitably bring confrontation as my ex and I struggle to decide who gets Logan and who doesn’t. No matter what someone is missing their little boy and it tends to be a touchy subject for both of us. Believe it or not I’ve actually been dreading it since about the day after Christmas last year. I worried and fretted about it and wondered what would happen as we tried to coordinate everyone’s schedules so that Logan was able to see as much of his family as possible during the holiday season. With so many different families wanting to see him, it can be challenging to fit everything in and without fail someone ends up getting missed.
My family has been asking me for over a month when I would have Logan this year. My reply was always, “I don’t know. I’ll have to keep you posted.” As they were all trying to make plans with their families in order to see Logan this was rather difficult, but I was so afraid of the tension it would bring between my ex and I that I just didn’t bring it up. In fact we didn’t even bring it up until this morning. Yes, we waited until the morning of the festivities to work things out, much to my family’s dismay.
After talking to him I realized that I had been worrying for nothing. He was kind and worked with me, which was a welcome surprise, and it seems as if everyone will be able to see Logan when they would like to this year. What I realized was that I had been worried to the point that I had literally made myself sick on more than one occasion. Instead of being happy in the right here and right now, I was worried about things that were months into the future. I have made a resolution to focus on the here and now in my life. Instead of worrying about where Logan is going to be, I’m going to enjoy the time that I do have with him. Our time will no longer be tainted with worry, it’s time for both of us to have some happiness again!