HcHernan's comments

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

13 Jul 2007 10:26 AM

Hello Beth. I have asked her if we could go to Marriage counseling but she doesn't want to go either. I should also mention she doesn't know that I know about the other guy and might just not want me to find out. That might be why she doesn't want to do any of the counseling. I would ask her sisters or mom for help but my wife is basically following in their footsteps and I know for a fact they know about the other guy and are hiding it from me as well. Her mom probably knows also and she isn't the very nurturing type anyway so she probably wouldn't be much help to her. My wife has suffered from Depression in the past. When she was a teenager she tried to kill her self by OD'ing on some pills. Her mom just told her to go talk to her aunt. Her aunt might be able to help but once I go to her the whole family will know. I don't think they all know that he is married and has a little kid of his own. That might also be why they don't see it as such a bad thing. If they found out they might tell her something then my wife would be angry and unable to talk to me and her family thereby pushing her even more towards the arms of this other guy. As far as me seeking counseling? Probably a good idea. I just have so much on my mind and If we did get divorced I have my daughter , mother, father and a mentally disabled brother living with us that I have to still take care of. I just want my nightmare to be over

Postpartum depression: Effects on the marriage - Blog Entry

12 Jul 2007 09:06 AM

I have a question. I believe my wife is suffering from postpartum depression. She just hasn’t been her self since the baby was born. Seems I cant do anything right. I try to help and she tells me to stop because it just makes her feel like she doesn’t do anything. I don’t and I get yelled at for not helping enough. I know I am and have not been perfect in our marriage and at times did not show her the attention she deserved and after reading so much about this disease I now see how I contributed to her being depressed. I have talked to her about going to the doctor and getting checked out just to see if anything is wrong. But she doesn’t want to go. She thinks I'm just trying to get her medicated. Now I have also found out that she has been talking to some other guy since the baby has been born. They haven’t actually done anything other than talk but it seems like they are on that road. Now this is completely unlike my wife and I would never have thought she would or could cheat on me. A few weeks ago we talked and she basically told me she didn’t feel the same way for me that she once did and that when I tell her that I love her that she doesn’t believe it.

I don’t know what’s going on if the depression is causing her to seek out attention from someone other than me to help her self esteem or if her feelings for this guy are what’s causing these other feelings and mood swings? Maybe both? She has mentioned in the times we talk that she does hate the way she looks and would like to be considered "HOT". She says she doesn’t believe me when I tell her she's hot because I love her already.

All I know is I am just confused and don’t know what to do. Sorry for writing so much.