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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by SANDRA69 3 years, 1 month ago.
January 24, 2011 at 7:03 am #195970
I’ve been dating my gf for 7 months now and I truly love her and would like to marry her,but! I can’t stand her 6 year old daughter. Her daughter will not mind me or her mom, she sasses and hits her mom. Her dad is still in the picture but mom has custody. I love my gf but I just get mad and upset and even sick to my stomach thinking about her daughter. I have the ok to correct her but it’s to no avail. I’m even so mad at her that I blame her daughter for ruining my girlfriends life and making life just bad when she’s around. I never spank her because I would hurt her I get so mad at her. I just don’t know what to do because if I leave my girlfriend I know it will hurt her really bad but I know she feels like her daughter is making life just plain bad. Please give me some tips and opinions if you could. Thanks.January 30, 2011 at 10:38 am #1045198
Her daughter is only 6 years old she still an innocent child remember that!!!!! it is up to the parents and gaurdians to teach her – You need to explain to a degree to your GF how you are feeling for a start and ask her to work with you to form a routine of discipline cos otherwise the relationship will never work but before you can even think of forming discipline YOU need to learn to love this little girl and to develop a relationship with her there are plenty of ways to do this (money is not one by the way) I suggest something very simple like putting say 15-30 mins asside a day (or how ever often you see her) for just you and her time and PLAY with her when you play with a child you let them play by their rules no matter how stupid you think it may be and let them have their fun, by playing with them and by their rules/immagination you are building trust in them which will help develop a relationship with them you need to make sure there is lots of praise when good and not only concentrate on the bad a lot of the time children only get attention when doing something wrong and this is why they act up.
If you are not prepared to try make an effort with this child then you may as well leave now cos the relationship will not work – it sounds to me like you have a bit of a bad attitiude in all honesty no matter how bad her behaviour is she is still only 6 and you are not her father she is obviously from a broken home and will have confusion and all sorts going on in her little mind and it is completely normal for a child from this background to play upJanuary 30, 2011 at 2:57 pm #1045201
I feel your pain. Several years ago I was the woman withthe horrible daughter a man would be writing about! The situation was the same, her father was present in her life. He spoiled her and intimidated me and any man who was in my life. She would literally call her dad and “tell” everytime she got in trouble at home, which was my house. He bought her everything and anything including a constant stream of cookies and candy and several cell phones from a very early age. He had literally brainwashed my daughter that I did not love her and told her regularly that she didn’t have to listen to the people in my life. A friend of mine took her out for an afternoon of shopping and lunch and when they ran into him at a shop he took her with him, disregarding my friend! My advise to you is to continue to be firm with this little girl. Regardless of the depth of your relationship young people need to know that they must respect the adults in their home. Make sure you are coming from a position of morality and guidance so you don’t question your motives; not coming from a place of resentment or anger but from a place of rightousness. It is up to us to show children the right way and they sometimes do have people in their life with very misguided notions of right and wrong! I had a very difficult time with my daughter for several years, but now she is sweet as pie, has a wonderful, loving, respectful relationship with my fiance and sees her father’s behaviors in her life for what they really are. It is VERY difficult for a child to be torn between their parents when they hold opposing views and I am sure disruptive behavior is a pretty common response to it. Be patient, try to see things from her perspective so you can approach her in a way that she can respond favorably to. And PS, her mom needs you!! The two of you need to formulate responses to particular behaviors that you can both stick to as a team, it sounds like this child really needs that! How lucky would these two females be to have a good, strong man in their life taking them in a positive direction? You can do it! Be good and be strong, be the man of that house who rules with loveFebruary 4, 2011 at 11:07 am #1045234
Tell her to give you a call when she has a free weekend and leave it at that. If she wants to be with you she’ll tell her mom to give it a break. If not you are better .
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