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This topic contains 20 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by wanttobemommy 5 years, 5 months ago.
June 17, 2007 at 9:25 pm #176577
Ok so my inlaws are the only thing I hate about getting married. I love my husband but his family just isnt all there when it comes to logic. My husband works a very funny schedule so some days he works from 10pm to 6am and other days he works 2pm to 10pm or 4pm to 12am. Today he is working 11am-7pm. Yesterday he worked from 4pm to 12am. So back to the point. My stupid MIL calls my husbands cell phone which he actually forgot this morning since he isnt a morning person. I answer to phone to get a screaming MIL in my ear. She is asking me where my husband is I said at work. She then was like did he forget what today is. No he is aware it is Fathers day. She gets so angry and she starts yelling that my husband better call his father and wish him a happy fathers day. That obviously my husband doesnt care about the family blah blah blah. Well My husband is a father why havent they called to wish him a happy fathers day? I was basically told in my 20 conversation that my husband better call the minute he gets home for work because his mom told him to. I was told to make sure this happens. I honestly could care less if my husband calls his dad or not. The only reason for this is drama in the past that we have no time to get into. My husband doesnt really like hanging out with his family and this is his decision I do not make them for him he is grown if he chooses to call then thats on him. I will let him know that his mom called and basically demanded that he call his dad. Thanks for listening to me ventJune 17, 2007 at 11:09 pm #924737
YUCK! I would be totally annoyed too! You make me grateful for my in-laws!June 17, 2007 at 11:59 pm #924742
I think it would be up to DH to call his Dad on Father’s Day…..not his mother….and not you.
She really puts you in the middle of the family drama.
Did you have to answer that cellphone when you saw who it was? Next time put it on ‘busy’ and she can leave DH a voice message.
(((Hugs)))June 18, 2007 at 1:38 am #924750
MIL’s can be scary. I was scared of mine for a while. She’s a real ragin’ cajun mom and always after my hubby… (the same ways your MIL is) We started off a little rocky. She thought I didn’t like her because I was always quiet…. well, I am naturally a quiet person. I was raised the tradiational southern way, where people spoke quietly and politely. My hubby’s family is loud, chaotic and always on the go. I wasn’t used to this… my hubby explained to her… thank goodness… that I was raised differently. Now we get along great. We were able to communicate more. I know all families are different. Communication is key to things running smoothly. Sometimes you have to keep the peace and play ‘Switzerland’ and other times you have to stand up for you and your hubby. Our husband’s are grown and I kinda let my hubby fend for himself most times. Choose your battles… If you have been married for a short amount of time… then it is probably that adjustment period happening. MIL doesn’t exactly know you enough just yet. It happens… I am sure things will work out.June 18, 2007 at 2:04 am #924759
I don’t have a fil…mine past away when dh was 3 years old. My mil can be very demanding like yours. Good luck!June 18, 2007 at 3:28 am #924782
That’s awful! I wouldn’t talk to her at all if I could help it.June 18, 2007 at 5:19 am #924796
DH and I have been married for two years. My MIL just doesnt like anyone. She is a two faced liar. She spreads drama as it is something she needs to make herself happy. I only answered the phone because sometimes they actually call to tell me they are going to pay me some of the money they owe me. Obviously today that wasnt the case. What made me more angry is that DH did call his dad and his dad didnt even say you too when DH wished him a happy fathers day Then not even 20 mins later they were at our house trying to get food and stuff off of us. We dont have a lot of spare money since I am not working so I told them I couldnt help them. My MIL loved me while DH and I were dating but when I miscarried the twins she told me that I was a neglegent mother and that I wanted to loose my babies since I didnt want to give DH a family. She told me all of this the day of my D&C which happened only 8 days after I got married. Things between us will never be better. But lately now that I am pregnant she has a whole new way of getting under my skinJune 18, 2007 at 8:32 am #924805
OMG she really sounds awful. I guess you should better stay away of her nad let your hubby deal with her.June 18, 2007 at 11:37 am #924811
Wow that is rough. Can you screen your phone calls using caller id or an answering machine. Let her rant to the voice mail and just hit delete before listening to it.
Just remember, as awful as your in-laws seems, they produced the wonderful husband of yours.June 18, 2007 at 12:21 pm #924814
Wow maybe you should just try and stay away from them the less contact the better… I know it’s not easy because they are your dh’s family but hey do you really need people like that around you, you don’t need that extra stress on you.June 18, 2007 at 5:53 pm #924878
You shouldn’t have to deal with the problems between you and your MIL. Don’t let that get to you and ignore her, since this is not even directed towards her. Good luck.June 18, 2007 at 6:51 pm #924900
I know EXACTLY how you feel. My MIL is the same way…she is a major drama queen/queen of gossip. She is known as “the mouth of the south” to a lot of people. I have been married to her son for over 7 years We were best friends at first but after me and dh moved in together, she started to cause trouble. She has kept in contact with all of dh’s exes and uses them to get under my skin. (she never liked any of the girls until they were exes) I can’t even begin to tell you all of the stunts she has pulled in almost 8 years…I could write a novel about her. And she doesn’t just do this to me…dh’s sister is married to a wonderful man and MIL does the same to him. And, to tell you the truth, her whole family is kinda like her…they all eat you up to your face but as soon as you turn your back, they are talking about you like you are a piece of trash. I am so thankful dh is not like them (he went to church for 23 years and learned how you are suppose to be…he said he always knew he wanted to be different than them)
My MIL used to really get to me and I was miserable…her plans to break us up almost worked. After about 5 years, I learned that I can’t change how she acts or what she says to us…but I can ignore her and not play into her little “game”. People like her are not happy unless everyone around them is unhappy.
Your MIL is problably never going to change her ways so my advice to you is:
**Don’t tell her when you or dh have a problem…don’t give her any negative info that she can “feed” off of.
**Always tell her you and dh are getting along great…even if you aren’t.
**Avoid and ignore her as much as possible.
**When you can’t avoid her, be friendly…I know this is hard but if you are negative or have a shouting match with her it fulfills her in some sick way.
This is just my advice from experience…MILs can be the worst thing about a marriage and they can make your life miserable IF you let it happen. I’m sure I will have more to add later. I can’t think of everything right now!!!
Just for a laugh…my dh bought me a shirt that said “If you think I’m a *****, you should meet my MIL”:rolf: and I wear that shirt around her every chance I get.
And for all of you who have good in-laws….be very thankful. My FIL (divorced from MIL for 12 years) is just as bad in his own different way… but that’s a whole new subject!!!
Good Luck to you Kristen! :nods:June 18, 2007 at 7:04 pm #924903
Forget the money.. just don’t give out any more… Don’t answer the phone.. especially since you are pregnant again and don’t need that kind of stress.June 18, 2007 at 7:05 pm #924905
One other thing…when you and dh are around MIL…hug and kiss and be super nice to each other. This always distracts my MIL and she can’t play her “game” as well!!:goodjob:June 18, 2007 at 9:09 pm #924930
Your MIL is a piece of work. Something about your marriage really bugs her. You miscarried 4 days after the wedding. Does she resent him marrying you when you were pregnant? Does she think he could have done any better than you? Sounds like the subject of him being a dad is a sore one for her.
Kristin, if I were you, I would avoid all people who stress you out right now. Don’t answer his phone, let her leave a message. And don’t bother yourselves with anything about money and them right now. Don’t even deal with them, and let him know why.
You just have this baby. That’ll show em.
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