Insest problem

This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  angelic_ky 5 years, 1 month ago.

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    Hi i’m a 18 year old guy who had insest problems when i was young see i was 4 and my sister was 2 years older then me and she always loved me now looking back i think it was a too much ..

    she abused me and i diddnt know what i was doing wrong cause i was so young and i diddnt know about sex and everything but she did and she performed stuff on me i never told my parents

    but i get really angry for what she did cause i diddnt deserve that

    im in shape i run and lift weights when i was about 12-14 and i still am in shape but everytime a girl liked me i could never do anything cause what i thought it was wrong. for what my sister did and she would always chase them away from me which now looking back makes me more angry cause i had alot of chances with other girls but she would ruin it for me ..

    and i heard my parents the other day sayin that my sister was horny at the age of 4 and i started crying cause they diddnt do anything to protect me.

    now she is 21 and im 18 and i cant put it past me what she did i think about it everytime we talk and i get so angry.. now i never had a serious girlfriend and im still a virgin . but i want to get by this anger out and let it go how can i do it .. how can i forgive her for what she did cause it affected my whole childhood and teenage years.



    I find it very very odd that your parents would make a comment like that about your sister are you sure she wasn’t being abused?



    no cause my sister is older now and she laughed about it and i wasent laughing it hurt really bad cause they diddnt do anything or thought she would do anything to me .



    Kids very rarely come up with these ideas themselves and I think it’s important to remember that she was only 6. A small child. She didn’t know what she was doing was wrong either. Have you asked her about the incidences?



    I agree you should confront her and at least tell her how it made/makes you feel. At least you can start to heal your wounds. Have you looked in your phone book to see if there are any counseling centers or support groups you can go to or talk with. It is very important that you address this. It is not fair what she did to you regardless if she was abused or not. YOU were abused and YES your parents should have protected you. I am sorry for what you have been through and I know in time you this will make you stronger, and someday when you become a parent you will protect your children.
    My heart goes out to you



    just to let you know, you aren’t alone; a very similar thing happen to me… and in my case my perpetrator was also abused in the same way and her perpetrator had also been abused

    i know it hurts, you feel she betrayed you, but the fact is you were both kids neither of you knew any better and i very much doubt that your parents were aware of what was happening, most likely whomever abused your sister (i very much doubt she came up with it all on her own) taught her that it was ‘secret’ play.

    What help me was realising that being angry was only hurting me; i was the one missing out on the fun in life cos i was too busy being angry; i was the one that was hurting from the negative emotion… once i realised that i forgave my perpetrator (knowing that she didn’t know any better) and learnt to let it go; that we didn’t actually do anything wrong we just never knew at the time that we shouldn’t be doing it; and you need to review the way you look at what she did, so you don’t feel guilty when you are with a girl.

    i think you need to talk to your sister; laughing is probably her way of dealing with it, her way of blocking the hurt… some counciling would probably help you too

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