Jade Walker's comments

When The Trust is Broken... - Blog Entry

24 Mar 2008 05:31 AM

First you need to focus your anger in the right direction, Smokingwife. Your husband is the one who cheated for over a year, so why are you hurting yourself? Realize that his infidelity has nothing to do with you. He behaved in a way that was selfish and cruel. He betrayed your trust, and continues to do so by keeping this woman in your lives. You held up your end of the bargain by loving him and remaining faithful. Say it with me: "I am not at fault." Then say it again.

I know you're upset, and you absolutely need to deal with that. But destroying your health or plotting retribution won't help you heal. Grieve. Yell. Cry. Talk to friends. Exercise. See a counselor. Get an STD test. Take care of you. Then, once you're stronger, move on.

You are worth more than he has to give. Why would you want to work out your marriage to a man who lies, cheats and continuously betrays you? You have already given him 10 good years; don't give him another day. He doesn't deserve it. And you clearly deserve better.

Do You Prefer a Gentleman? - Blog Entry

22 Mar 2008 07:43 AM

When I was in the dating pool, I conducted the car door test. If a man opened my door first, he earned points. In turn, I'd always lean over and unlock/open his door. To me, common courtesy is key.

Public Displays of Affection: How Much is Too Much? - Blog Entry

14 Mar 2008 02:20 PM

I'm a big fan of PDAs. My beau and I have been together for several years now and we still hold hands and cuddle and kiss in public. We share these moments because we love each other, and that love comes out in physical and verbal displays.

When I was single, I used to envy such couples. I'd see them in movie theaters or on the train and I'd ache inside because I wanted that too. But in the very next second, I'd send thoughts of luck their way. Good for them, I'd think. Let's hope they stay that close forever.

We live in a rather puritanical society. People are so closed off from each other, so unwilling to reach out and actually connect, that they turn against those who have the ability to do so. Perhaps the world would be a better place if we all displayed just a bit more affection for each other.

Does Your Mate Remind You of Your Parent? - Blog Entry

12 Mar 2008 05:31 PM

I chose a mate who was the exact opposite of my father. I looked at all of my father's faults (alcoholic, racist, unfaithful), and then vowed to be with someone who didn't embody them.

Serendipity - Blog Entry

11 Mar 2008 06:30 PM

"Serendipity" is also one of our favorite movies. In fact, it was the movie we watched on our first date. Our anniversary is coming up at the end of this month. Guess where we're going? Serendipity 3 of course!

Thoughts on Marriage and Monogamy - Blog Entry

06 Mar 2008 07:15 PM

Religion and children play absolutely NO factor in my decision to be a monogamous mate. The possibility of disease is there, of course, but condoms and various medical options lessen it. And we already live in a society where millions of people date with no strings attached or opt for polyamorous relationships. Everything is on the table; no cheating necessary.

That said, casual sex and multi-partner relationships just don't work for me. I'm monogamous because that's how I'm wired...but also by choice. And if I couldn't be with the one I love, I'd much rather just be a quirky alone.

How Much Do You Need to have in Common? - Blog Entry

06 Mar 2008 07:04 PM

"In many cases we cannot control whom we fall in love with or when we fall in love. It is an involuntary feeling that just occurs." I totally disagree with this line of thinking. We cannot control who we are attracted to. That's a physical or chemical response. However, we absolutely control who we fall in love with. It's a choice we make, to fall or to move on. Just as it's a choice we make to stay in love, to work on our relationships or to let them lie fallow.

People who find themselves attracted to potential mates with major faults (criminal backgrounds, major addictions, cheating, etc.) do not HAVE to fall in love with them. Why they choose to do so, I'll never know.

Long Marriages: This Family Knows How to Do It - Blog Entry

06 Mar 2008 06:58 PM

I'd love to see some statistic on the longevity of marriages, based on who works and who doesn't. I imagine the trends are constantly changing.

Causes of Dry Spells - Blog Entry

03 Mar 2008 06:46 PM

Have you considered getting more sleep? Or exercising a little bit more? That might help. I also suggest scheduling a little alone time. Pleasure yourself. Doing so will boost your libido and ease your need to focus on "performing."

Couple Sleep Patterns - Blog Entry

03 Mar 2008 02:55 PM

My beau and I are definitely cuddle-sleepers. We were both life-long insomniacs when we met. But the first time we slept together -- actually slept -- it was bliss. Though our schedules rarely allow us to share a bed, we revel in the times when we can snuggle up and drift off into Morpheus' realm.