13 Jul 2006 10:36 PM

It's late and here I am

It's almost 1 am in the morning, and here I sit.  Not able to sleep.  Can't stop thinking about my son, Ryan.

It's been OVER 2 years since I last saw him, after being promised by his treatment foster parents that they were going to adopt him.  And... Well... They DIDN'T !

I have no idea where he is now, since his supposed adoptive family couldn't "deal" with his behavior anymore.  And the feelings that he must be having. It's enough to drive me crazy EVERYDAY if I let myself think about it.

The fact that I was self less enough to let my son go, to a family that I thought would love him as much as I did, and know that he's not there, just breaks my heart. I cry every night, not knowing what's going on with him.

What kind of person that he'll turn out to be.

He'll be 15 in March and... I know that if I saw him I probably wouldn't even recognize him now. :(

If only I could run into him some where and reassure him how much I still love him.

What am I going to do?

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