09 Jun 2009 10:28 PM

Narcisstic Mother

I searched "dealing with selfish mothers" and found this site.  Read some of the journal entries and alot sounded familiar.  Dad abused us when we were young, he has since passed away and we have made our peace.  I actually miss him.  Anyways, Mom never acknowledge she knew about the abuse and when she was told her only response was to make sure it was known that she did not know this happen.  No I'm sorry this happened or any other affection.  Never really hear much until Dad passed away.  Now we will help her, but it is never enough.  Even while we are doing something she is onto the next thing we can do for her.  Conversations are all about her.  She doesn't even know her grandchildren's names.  She will call and left a message and then leave a 2nd message saying I should at least have courtesy to call my mother back.  Who talks like that?  If I see her, I get angry.  If I stay away, I tell myself I am entitled, but the old guilt rises up, but she can't help it...she's sick, etc.  The moment we hang up the phone or leave her house after doing something for her, she is ready to criticize and complain to family and friends.  She never worked a day in her life and I think my Dad gave in to what she wanted because it was easier.  When she asked me a week after Dad passed why my sister hadn't called her mother in this time of need when her husband died.  I said that my sister was dealing with this too.  Mom said "why?"  I said it was our father.  No concept that anyone else was grieving.  I finally got tired of her telling her friends how we don't call our own mother or take her anywhere.  She says this regardless if we do something or not, so why bother?  She honestly has no clue why no one wants to visit her?  When I get mad and try to explain, she just says "what do you mean".  It makes me want to scream.  Her actions have been called evil on more than one ocassion.  She certainly is manipulative and lies right to us.  Even when we catch he in a lie, she lie's some more.

Thanks for listening.  Any words of encouragement would be great.

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