JeffJ's comments

Facing a Marriage Crisis - Blog Entry

15 May 2008 11:06 PM

Hi Courtney, I'm sorry that you and your husband are having such a hard time right now. Honestly, I totally understand where you are at as my wife and I aren't doing so hot lately ourselves. But what I wanted to say to you is that no matter how lost you feel, and no matter how hopeless your situation might seem, there is always hope for your marriage. Look, sometimes husbands are just boneheads you know? We don't mean to be. In our hearts we want to be the Knight in shining armor, and always be there to meet every need that our "princess" has just at the perfect moment. What we want is for our wives to respect us, and look at us with admiration in their eyes. We want to think that our wives could never love another, even if it isn't true. I happen to know better. I know how to be a husband. My wife and I have a marriage ministry together, and have helped other couples get through things like this, and yet here we are going through our own mess. And you wanna know what started it? Work. Yup that's right. I worked too much and didn't take care of my first priority which was meeting my wife's needs. I'm sure she felt just like you feel now. I didn't mean to neglect her by any means. See what I thought was that I was doing my duty as a husband and I was all gung ho about providing financially for my family, and ended up forgetting that they needed more than just money. Now I've realized my mistakes and made some serious changes to make sure that I've got my priorities in order now, but my wife isn't sure she wants to do this whole marriage thing now. Ok, I know I'm running on, and I'm sorry, but what I want you to know is that your husband isn't meaning to be a dummy. He probably thinks that he's doing what he has to do to take care of you. He's loving you by trying to provide for you, or if it's not work, then he's just not getting it. Either way, I know he doesn't want to lose you, and if he really understood what his actions are doing to you - I mean if he knew what you were thinking about - I'll bet it would wake him up. If not, tell him to give me a call. I'll fill him in on what life is like for a man who refuses to listen to his wife's cries for help.