jude2004's comments

Are You Who You Want To Be? - Blog Entry

15 Jun 2006 08:50 AM

It should be "the ability to effect change."

Boys Being Boys - Blog Entry

28 May 2006 08:14 PM

I have two sons and a daughter, and until puberty hit, I didn't see that much difference between the two genders. Can we blame testosterone before, say, age 12?

My sons are only 21 months apart, and I'm an older mom, so my technique for sending positive messages was to call them angels, even when they were acting like devils as in "Angel, don't throw that at your brother." Somehow it seemed to help.

Happy Mothers Day! - Blog Entry

14 May 2006 08:00 AM

I was required to give presents to my mother, who was an abusive mother. I never require presents from my children. Mother's Day is a horrible day in my opinion--it's an excuse to make children feel guilty and to sell cards, flowers, and presents. I don't need or want special recognition, and I don't think that children should be required to give special recognition when they might not feel that their parent deserves it. I'm glad Anna Jarvis had a good mother; I didn't.

An Interview With Organize Yourself Online - Blog Entry

13 May 2006 06:58 PM

I have my own ideas about organization for single parents. One of the more useful free sources I've found is called backpackit.com When you're a single parent, traditional organization schemes don't work. I use backpackit to write down *every* thing I have to do, categorizing things into "today's top priorities" then things to do for others, for myself, in money, and in housework. I pick the top three or four priorities out of those categories, then spend 30 minute blocks of time on them. I love backpackit.com

Your Mental Health: Its Possible Impact on Your Children - Blog Entry

13 Apr 2006 11:49 PM

My children benefit from my mental illnesses in some ways, and suffer in others. For example, because I have OCD, I am better able to handle my son's OCD. Since no one in my family aside from my college-aged daughter can afford treatment, this means that it's useful that I know that his illness must be both accommodated and challenged. If I didn't have it myself, I would have had a long learning curve to get to this point.

My mother was suicidal, and I was given the job of talking her out of it four to six times a year from the time I was seven years old. I would never do that to my kids. I also don't try to make them take up the slack--too much--for me. All right, so I have agoraphobia, and I have trouble getting the mail, so I often ask them to do that when I should try to force myself to do it. And sometimes I send them to the grocery store because I can't face it (I haven't made it in over three weeks, and we do run out of food), but we talk about it in terms of each of us having problems which we need to work on.

I exercise to keep my suicidal ideation in check. A few months ago, the four of us were sitting around watching t.v. and I said, "You know, we each have problems, but there's one thing we do have" and my youngest son instantly replied, "We have love." Which is exactly what I meant.

Self-Employed, Homeschooling Single Parent Considering a Master's Program - Am I Crazy? - Blog Entry

04 Apr 2006 07:32 PM

I have a master's degree, a mental illness (well, several co-related mental illnesses), a child in college, and two sons in middle school. I also work from home. We are poor. I signed up for online classes in hopes that some desperate school district will hire me as an ESL teacher. Maybe that gamble will work out. If not, I'm $2700 more in debt than I was. I've enjoyed learning more about ESL, but I've had to fight my mental illnesses every step of the way. It probably wasn't worth it, but I needed something to give me hope.

Dating Advice for Single Moms (from "Mars and Venus Starting Over" by John Gray, Ph.D.) - Blog Entry

31 Mar 2006 03:46 AM

Mars v. Venus is the worst kind of psychobabble. John Gray isn't even accurate, but at least he made a lot of money. People look for their own world views to be reflected in what they read, so apparently he reflects you and not me.

"Single Parents Should Look for Love" - Blog Entry

21 Mar 2006 02:43 PM

I disagree that single parents should look for love. I am a single parent of three children. I waited four years after my first divorce before I dated, and I slowly introduced my first serious boyfriend into our lives. We married and had two children. He became abusive after the marriage, and I divorced him. My children come first, and I would never again take a chance on a relationship. Love can be blind, and everyone can suffer as a result.

One of my sons' friends, Preston, has a mother who puts herself and her relationships first. As Preston puts it, "The ones who are good to me are bad to her." Recently, she left Preston with one of her sisters for two months to follow a man to Denver. Apparently, this is supposed to be the man who will be the right one for her, so now Preston is moving to Denver. She *always* puts her adult needs before those of her child.

My children are too important and I have proven myself to be too bad at choosing partners, so I will remain single to protect us all.