Kristyn Crow's comments

Six Steps to Potty Train Your Special Needs Child - Blog Entry

02 Aug 2006 02:45 PM

Yes, some children are just not going to be ready until they are much older. And some children may always have difficulty, depending on the level of disability. I suppose I should have addressed this in the blog. I wouldn't want parents to feel ashamed for having an older child who still needs diapers. We all do what we can, based on the individual needs of our children. Right? Bonnie, you're a very devoted mom.

Why I Love Torey Hayden's Books - Blog Entry

31 Jul 2006 07:47 PM

I've read ONE CHILD twice and both times was mesmerized. I couldn't put it down. GHOST GIRL is another favorite. Thanks for sharing, Nicole!

You Know Your Kid is the BOSS When... - Blog Entry

30 Jul 2006 12:13 PM

Wow, you're in a tough predicament. Unfortunately being grandma (and mother-in-law at that) means you can only make gentle suggestions but ultimately must let the parents raise their child the way they see fit. That's hard when you completely disagree with what mom is doing.

I have a couple of suggestions, however. First, I'll bet your best path toward having an influence on your daughter-in-law is through your son. Have a non-confrontational, upbeat conversation with him, alone. If you approach it with a concerned tone and not a critical one, he might be more open to listen. However, if his wife is as domineering as she sounds, he might not have much say, anyway.

The other way you can be a positive influence is through your granddaughter. Can you spend regular time with her, alone? Take her to the library, shopping, or out to lunch weekly? During these outings, you can make suggestions, tell stories from your past (Was there a bully you knew that caused harm to someone? Were you ever bullied?) etc. Without disagreeing outright with her mother (or even mentioning her mother) you could gently help her see a different viewpoint. You could also praise her for times you observed her behaving appropriately. "You were so kind to your cousin at the restaurant. You shared your dessert with her. I think that is wonderful."

The rest of it your granddaughter is going to have to learn the hard way. It sounds like natural consequences are already taking place, with parents withdrawing their children from the situation. The more unkind and bossy your granddaughter is, the more friends she'll lose. Eventually she'll see what's happening for herself. My very domineering stepdaughter came to me once in tears. "Why doesn't anyone ever come over to play with me?" And I carefully suggested that she needed to be a better friend to others. That means taking turns, being polite, and not being too bossy. My stepdaughter saw for herself that what I was saying made sense. Natural consequences proved it.

The good news is that there are some positive things about a child knowing how to stand up for herself and be a leader. It's unlikely your granddaughter will be taken advantage of by others. Maybe approach the issue with your son that way. Say, "Wow, you guys are really teaching your daughter confidence and leadership skills. I admire that. I just hope she also learns how to temper it so she's not overbearing and causes other people to dislike her."

Beyond that, I think you've perfectly described the bitter pill of grandparenthood. How do you hold your tongue when the parenting you observe from your children is clearly inadequate? It's got to be very difficult. Be sure to make as many positive comments to your son and daughter in law as you can so they don't see you as a whiner. When you notice something good that they're doing with their daughter, let them know. This way, they'll be more likely to listen to the constructive criticism.

Good luck and please check back in with an update!

What Happened at Kyle's IEP Meeting - Blog Entry

28 Jul 2006 10:45 PM

Hi Bonnie! Thanks for asking. I think he started naturally attending when he was in the fourth or fifth grade. That's because his IEPs were often scheduled immediately after school, and there was no place else for Kyle to go but to stay in the classroom while we had the meeting. At first he would wander the classroom or otherwise entertain himself. But the last few IEPs he has sat at the table and listened. I'm not sure how much he actually understands, but occasionally he'll make comments. I like him to attend, because sometimes the teachers or specialists will interact with him to demonstrate things they're talking about in class or subjects they're learning. It helps me to see Kyle respond to these people who work with him.

I think if Kyle had problems with being disruptive or noisy, or if he needed constant attention, I might opt to have him stay home and be babysat during the IEP. The meeting is important enough that you certainly need to hear and clearly understand what's being suggested. But Kyle is generally quiet and even-tempered. So his attendance doesn't interrupt the meeting.

Discipline and the Special Needs Child: An Act of Love - Blog Entry

12 Jul 2006 10:07 PM

Hey, thanks! Now where should I send your checks? Just teasing. You made my day!

Make a Terrific Transition Board! - Blog Entry

12 Jul 2006 05:26 PM

I have a print shop program with millions of graphics on it. I'd be happy to print you up some icons... you'd just have to cut them out and paste them on the cards prior to laminating them. If you'd like, email me at kriscrow@qwest.net with a list of daily activities and I'll print up the words and icons and mail them to you.

Will my Special Needs Child Attend College? - Blog Entry

11 Jul 2006 05:06 PM

That sounds like a great book... I'll have to look it up. Thanks, Bonnie.

Jack Sparrow Debuts at Walt Disney World and Disneyland - Blog Entry

09 Jul 2006 07:49 PM

I loved this blog! I just went on the new Pirates ride a few days ago. I was expecting more changes to the ride than there were. However, I think I would have been disappointed if too much was different. It's still nearly the exact same ride. Captain Jack Sparrow, peering out of the dress shop, is the smoothest and most realistic animatronic character I've ever seen. There were gasps from people on my boat. "Wow, he looks so real!" they said. The movements are very lifelike.

When Lightning Strikes... Twice - Blog Entry

05 Jul 2006 09:46 AM

Thank you very much Michele! I did a little research, and I think you're talking about Adam Morrison? I'll have to do a blog on him now.

Speech and Language Delays - Blog Entry

26 Jun 2006 01:36 PM

Thank you Teresa!

For more information, I have written a blog called "Children with Speech or Language Impairment."

http://special-needs.families.com/blog/childrenwithspeechorlanguageimpairm