Kori Rodley Irons's comments

Your Child Still Has Two Parents - Blog Entry

14 Aug 2007 10:50 AM

Hmmm...here are my suggestions: In my state, the schools will provide information to both parents so that may be a place to start. Make sure that you are getting copies of your children's report cards, any newsletters that are sent home, e-mails the teachers might send, etc. This way at least you will know what they are doing in school. If your children play any sports or do activities, you should be able to get copies of the calendars and schedules so you can attend and support your children without having to get the information from your ex-spouse. If you do not share joint custody, it can be hard to get "official" things like notification of doctor's visits, etc., but you can try. As your children get older, they will be better able to tell you what is going on too so you can stay in the loop.

Perhaps you and your ex could have a meeting once a month or some other neutral, regular way of communicating which would keep you from having to hound him for information. If you set up a once-a-week e-mail or a once-a-month meeting, you could coordinate your calendars and not have to interact on a continuous basis.

I hope some of these ideas might help. Good luck!

Single Parent and College: Child Care - Blog Entry

10 Aug 2007 09:04 AM

When I went back to school as a single parent, my kids were 4, 5, and 6. My eldest daughter and I still share a fond memory of her spending a sick day when she couldn't go to her school sitting in the back row of a huge survey class I was taking. She had her own notebook and she was scanning poetry right along with the rest of us! She was able to tell everyone that she had "been to college"! Of course, that is not feasible all the time but I think it's a good example of the necessary flexibility of the single parent family.

I was able to get a child care subsidy from my university when I went back. It didn't pay all the day care, but it paid a good chunk of it, I think something like $400 a month for three kids and that was 10 years or so ago. I worked full time, and took a full course load, so my kids were in day care during the day. I then hired a babysitter for three hours, one night a week so I could either take a night class or study. It took planning, and I had to set up a schedule that worked, but it was do-able.

Your Child Still Has Two Parents - Blog Entry

07 Aug 2007 04:51 PM

You are absolutely right that divorce is not the end of the relationship with the ex-spouse! There are some weeks I swear I talk to my kids' dad more than when we were married and we've been divorced for years! We've found we work rather well as coparents but it's taken a great deal of work and letting go to get here. Thanks for your insight.

What I Don't Miss About Co-workers - Blog Entry

01 Aug 2007 01:26 PM

I think that is a good one--all of those chatty interruptions! Thanks for sharing.

Sometimes They Don't Even Know Why They Are Fighting - Blog Entry

10 Jul 2007 08:42 AM

Tristi: Oh, I think there is a logical explanation sometimes! But, I've found with my own kids that there are times when they just fuss with each other for no real reason at all--maybe it's just boredom, habit, or because they can't think of anything better to do. Sometimes, it is a signal for something deeper, but sometimes not!

Single Parents and Work - Blog Entry

26 Jun 2007 09:10 AM

There are flexible jobs out there--a person may not be able to find just one and, many of us surely piece together a few just to keep the bases covered--but I think it is getting easier and easier to find them. I work as a freelance writer, do public relations and advertising work, and I have a more "traditional", albeit very flexible and single mom-friendly job at a magazine and publishing company. I think that single parents can also consider starting their own businesses for even more flexility and financial opportunity!

Turning Down a Referral - Blog Entry

05 Apr 2007 01:41 PM

Thank you for sharing this story, Pam! I went through very similar guilt when I'd been waiting for a foster child placement and was finally offered a child who was extremely challenging and much older than I had expressed interest in. His special needs were very extensive. Since I'd been actually told that I needed to "prove myself" as a foster parent before being able to adopt (despite raising three biological children as a single parent) I felt like if I said "no" that it would definitely weigh on my ability to move forward in fostering or adopting (it did)--but it was undoubtedly the right decision for my family and myself. I would not have been the right parent nor we the right family for the child. The good thing is that another more ideal family stepped forward to take him in as soon as I said no. But, it's definitely another issue for adoptive parents to wrestle with! Thanks for the blog.

Counting Out - Blog Entry

04 Apr 2007 09:10 AM

Myra, this is some good information about using "counting" effectively. I couldn't help but be reminded of a time when my own children were small--I had a tendency to warn my kids that I was "reaching the end of my rope" and one day, my eldest daughter asked me thoughtfully, "How come you're never at the BEGINNING of your rope?" It dawned on me (again) that I needed to be more specific.

Just How Many Single Parents Are There? - Blog Entry

28 Feb 2007 01:55 PM

I am of the belief that any one who decides to become a parent should be prepared for the chance that they will be a single parent. With the odds and the numbers the way they are, it is becoming increasingly common--so parents should be prepared.

Single Moms and Sons - Blog Entry

28 Feb 2007 01:37 PM

I think having role models from both genders is important for children of both genders (and it doesn't have to be parents). But, I do agree with you, Renee, that sons do need older males. I am fortunate that my children's father is quite involved in his own way, but I also see the importance of positive grandfathers, uncles and even how some of my grand old male friends give my son older males to learn from, learn about, and emulate.