LadyElizabeth's comments

Looking for the Good When Things Look Bad (Some Holiday Thoughts) - Blog Entry

14 Apr 2006 03:57 PM

P.S. Check out the book,

Forged in the Refiner's Fire,

By Candace Salima and Elizabeth Cheever

at

elizabethcheever.com

It's all about how trials and difficulties have made people better, stronger and given them blessings they never thought of.

Looking for the Good When Things Look Bad (Some Holiday Thoughts) - Blog Entry

14 Apr 2006 03:54 PM

Dear Fran,

You're right, too often we can get caught up in negative thoughts about or pasts and how they affect our present lives.

Good job for being determined to find something good to hold onto.

When you have wounds in your past that still hurt or affect you, you can wonder how thing would be different if they hadn't happened, but, I have found out, that if those wounds had never happened in my past, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

I'm stronger, more compassionate, more aware of other people's pain, etc, just becasue of the hard times in my past.

If I went back somehow and made my past rosey, I wouldn't like the person I ended up being. I needed all that for training, in order to become who I am today. Make sense?

I saw this as an analogy on a TV show once. A man was given the chance to go back and change something he regretted. It messed up his future and he turned out to be a wimp, instead of the strong man he had become originally.

He said his life was a tapestry that had had some loose threads. He pulled one and it unraveled the tapestry.

I think our lives are like that. We have tapestrys and all of us have loose threads. We can either focus on weaving today or pick at the threads of the past, with the danger that it might unravel our cloth.

You are so right to focus on the good around you in the present, but sometimes those old wounds just hurt so bad, they grab your attention. here's a good counseling technique that can sometimes help:

When you replay the experience, this time, re-write it and give it a happy ending. Then put it away knowing that you can create some good for yourself and your loved ones in the present and the future.

My Day on the World Stage - Blog Entry

13 Apr 2006 04:32 PM

I'm at loss for words! What a beautiful, wonderful experience!

How wonderful to have that experince. I can certainly see that you were the one prepared to perform it. (Candace is an amazing woman, for those that don't know her personally.)

Candace, you should seel copies of the show tape on your website. I'd be first to purchase one.

Do It Yourself - Blog Entry

08 Apr 2006 06:25 PM

I've found the library to be a great resource for decorating ideas. They have many books that teach how to.

Home hardware stores also have instructions and idea classes.

You can make a piece of wood look like marble for a fraction of the cost and yield a very elegant result.

People think I have copper relief plates in my kitchen, but it is just raised, tin ceiling look, wallpapper painted with copper paint.

You can create some beautiful, butmore importantly, unique things, with a little work.

Standards of Comparison: Housewife versus Stay At Home Mom - Blog Entry

08 Apr 2006 06:20 PM

I'm a homemaker!

When I meet new people and they ask what I do, I say I'm a homemaker.

Their response has often been, "oh, so you don't work?"

Hello?!!!

Yes, I work! I work harder at home and in more diversified areas than I ever did at any job, and I've been employed a few times.

If I were to hire someone I'd pick a good homemaker over a career woman, who is narrowly trained in one area. The homemaker's problem solving skills have been extensively trained.

For example, when the plumbing floods at work, most career women don't have to deal with it or they call professional help.

If the sewer backs up at home, the homemaker may get to call the plumber, but she still has to clean up the mess herself.

Don't get me wrong, I've been employed inplenty of jobs, and salute the women who have to be employed outside the home and be a homemaker also, but I always had the opportunity to learn much more and in more areas at home.

A homemaker is a nurse, chauffer, decorater, cook, laundress, cleaner, designer, psychologist, sewer, creative problem solver, repair woman, buyer, coordinator, etc, etc, etc...the list is endless.

Prophetic Promises of Family Home Evening - Blog Entry

07 Apr 2006 05:16 PM

Fhe

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Candace,

It is very important to analyze your aim in what type of FHE you want to have and adapt your FHE to your needs.

For example, my parents gathered us ten children together every week to critise us and tell us what we had done wrong that week, then they gave us refreshments and called it FHE.

Needless to say, that was not FHE! Everyone left with a bad feeling and family unity wasn't formed.

When looking at planning your FHE, whether there are children in the home or not, first consider what you are trying to accomplish by having FHE in the first place. What are your family's specific needs?

One of the main goals is to teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a manner that can be assimliated on each age level, but it is also important to develop certain family attributes and meet family needs while you are having FHE. These attributes can include:

to promote loving, family unity, to increase each family member's self esteem, to bond family members so each of them knows they always have people who will love, support and care for them, not matter what mistakes they may make in life. (They need to learn that they will always have a soft place to fall when the world gives them hard days.)

Teach them to care for one another, not just to come to parents for help. Small children can be taught when their sybling has a problem, and asked, "what can we do to help him?" Passing out an odd number of jelly beans, for example, and pointing out that one sister has less than the others, and helping the other children solve the problem by sharing theirs. Including the syblings in problem solving creates an emotional investment for them and increases their love for their syblings and their sense of belonging as a family unit.

I did this with my children, and now that some of them are grown, they naturally go to each other for help, (as well as their dad and I) this way I know that when their parents are old or passed on, the kids will all be taking care of each other emotionally, and physically. They are also a close, loving group of syblings from all the help and love they have given each other. They freely sacrifice to share with each other. Values like this can be taught in FHE and will greatly impact a lifetime of relationships. My children learned the Gospel and about their Savior, but they also learned family values that they still retain. For couples without children, I'd apply the same principles: learn the Gospel and promote family unity. My husband and I study and discuss Gospel topics, increasing our understanding of the gospel. We also encourage bonding by experiences that bring us closer, whether that is a quiet evening at home or a night out on the town. We also dicuss how we can meet our extended family's needs, our married children, our grandchildren, etc. We know that their experiences are problems they need to solve for their own spiritual growth, but we discuss what we can do to support and help them while they are going through their trials. We are a soft place for them to fall, and on occassion, some of them have had to move back home with us, while they sort out their finances. These things comprise our FHE when our children are not around. This meets our needs. FHE should be adapted to the needs of each family. It should teach the Gosepl of Jesus Christ and promote family values that will affect their lives and create family traditions for generations to come. These are my thoughts... Lady Elizabeth

Filling the Well Within When it's Been Sucked Dry - Blog Entry

31 Mar 2006 05:13 PM

I agree with Candace in that Temple worship, bubble baths and chocolate can go a long way to refilling your well. You can also renew yourself specifically according to who you are as an individual. One day I felt tangled up in knots. Things were going wrong, and they were things that couldn’t be fixed right away. I couldn’t free myself their weight long enough to start my daily routine. I was completely drained. I needed to refill my well within and fast. Nothing I tried helped, and then I began to look past the tangled knot of the present and towards my future. I began planning the details of what I would buy for an upcoming trip, (I’m the kind of person that has almost as much fun, packing and planning a vacation, than actually taking one.) Soon I noticed that I was more relaxed. I realized that in the near future, these present day problems wouldn’t be around to bother me. Then it hit meâ€"whenever I’m in a tangle of problems that I can’t untie, I should focus beyond them into my future and work on things that need to be done there. The tangle becomes less important and eventually fades from the present into the past, with me being able to resolve it or not, somehow it goes away. This works for me because I’m future oriented. I love thinking about and preparing my future. I’m a creative planner and love working out details. I take walks in nature to renew my spirit. I do something to help or inspire other people and it fills my well. I create an art piece that expresses a little bit of my soul and I feel tied to a greater purpose. Other people live in the moment and still others thrive on wonderful memories of the past. That’s where they need to go to relax and refill their wells within. People who enjoy the fun of the moment need excitement, adventure and other people to unwind from the stress of their day. Good food, upbeat music and laughter will send your stress packing. A spontaneous party would be the perfect end to your trying day if you are such a person. You need to be near other people and feel their energy. Sometimes you need to expend energy as in working out, running or friendly sports competitions. You can refill your well by experiencing the excitement or living it vicariously, such as taking a group of friends to see an action/adventure movie, or cheering on your favorite team competition. Whatever you do, make it fun and share the fun with loved ones and friends if you are a person who is oriented to the present day. Scrap-booking, home movies, and family gatherings, fill the need to cherish and revisit fond memories. Traditional feasts and get-to-gethers accomplish the same thing. A sense of belonging is important to you and you need to feel connected to your past. (If your past wasn’t particularly pleasant, it’s okay to daydream and rewrite the events of your childhood. Give a bad experience a happy ending; just keep it in “daydreamâ€� form.) You can also enjoy the past through historical novels, history and movies that portray family unity and the “good old days.â€� Whether it’s a family camp out or continuing a habit of reading a story to a child at bedtime, doing something that makes memories and reminds you of the old great days will refill your well if you are someone who thrives on the past. Prepare your bug-out kit if you are a future oriented soul. Just make up a list of what to put in it if you can’t buy the stuff for it right now. Plan, dream and draw out schematics, write lists, imagine possibilities. Think of taking a vacation, building or decorating a house, living in the New Jerusalem. Let your imagination run free. See yourself without boundaries, limitations, or needs, and then just create in your mind and on paper. Satisfying novels, such as “Crystal Singerâ€� by Anne McCaffery, can let you experience what it feels like to take charge of your future and change your life by your own determination. Whether you just daydream or plan and change your future, looking beyond today will help refill your well. It is important to note that certain people need solitude to renew them just as some persons need to be with other people to refill their wells. Some people need to create, play, and escape to another world through books or movies. Others need to work their bodies, party, enjoy good food and music. There are those who need to re-establish family ties, do crafts and hobbies, and be pampered. Some need challenging mind puzzles and problems to solve. Whatever you do, remember that it is paramount that you refill your well within. Remember that Heavenly Father gave you gifts and talents that will naturally renew your soul when you use them. He gave us the great outdoors to refresh our spirits. He gave us others to serve, that we could be built up. In this hectic society we must refill our wells, nurture our spirits and come to the peace that the Lord promises us. Elizabeth Cheever, 2006