Lake07306's comments

Islam and the Non-Muslim Wife - Blog Entry

09 Oct 2007 08:12 AM

Luckygirl30,

God bless you for seeking advice reguarding the welfare of your daughter. I can see why you would be confused by your ex-husbands(?) request for you to raise your daughter differently. You obviously know the importance for children the have the influence of their father in their lives and desire this opportunity for your daughter. However your daughter's father claims he would be more involved if she were only raised Muslim. Then why doesn't he spend more time with her and teach her things she needs to know? You are not Muslim; it is not fair of him to expect you to raise your daughter on values that you have little knowledge of. I think he is creating a circle to avoid responsibility: he'll only she his daughter is she is Muslim, so when she starts living like one, he'll come back. But he is the only Muslim force in this girl's life! Without him, there's a very small chance of her living and believing like a Muslim, even if you make an effort to "make" her muslim. It's like a child being born to a Spanish speaking father and English speaking mother. The father says "I'll see him when he can speak to me in Spanish" So wouldn't the best thing be for the father to teach him Spanish rather than place the responsibility on a mother who knows nothing on the subject? In Islam, weither you comit sin of adultery(pre-marital sex) and conception results, that child recieves no sin or blame from it's parents actions. However, it can only be Muslim if it is taught about Islam! And just because it was born to a non-Muslim mother, doesn't make the child any less of a responsibility to the Muslim father. It is his responsibility to raise that child as a Muslim. If the child was born out of wedlock or to non-muslim mother, it is a greater burden and challenge to raise the child muslim. But, thats the consequence and it is his religious duty to follow. I suggest you discuss this with your daughter's father. If he is really concerned about his daughter and willing to take responsibility he will see the error in his thinking. If he doesn't, then, I am sorry to say, your daughter will suffer from not having her father.However, In Islam, self sacrifice for the benefit of others is one of the hardest and noblest things that can be done. Thus, if you educate yourself first about Islam and teach your daughter this way of life, her father has no excuse for not visiting. But, maybe this is the way God intended it for you. Maybe by learning Islam first for the sake of your daughter, you discover something along the way yourself.