Letting Go of Control

Marriage

I’m doing this great online Bible study from a book called, “Let It Go.”  One of my favorite chapters was “Managing Your Man” and it was all about learning to let go, to stop trying to control your husband.

This is a common issue in marriages but it can affect both sides.  The very things about your spouse that made you fall in love; quickly become the very things you try to change.

Some people take the whole “the two shall become one” thing to mean control.  But this is detrimental to your marriage.

I was pretty messed up when I first got married, I will fully admit.  As soon as the wedding rings were exchanged, my controlling nature rose up.

For whatever reason, I managed to hide my control issues until the day of our wedding.  I’m quite sure my husband would have run the other way, had he known what he was in store for.

Of course, I could give you all kinds of psychological reasons for my actions and how my past influenced this negative behavior in me.  But that’s a story for another time.  The real point is that I slowly began to sabotage my marriage as I tried to exert control over my husband.

It started off with trying to control his friends, how he spent his free time and what he did even when I wasn’t around.  It would make me mad that he went to play golf on his days off.  It was quite irrational, considering I was at work so it really didn’t impact me.

Then it went from trying to control his physical environment to what he thinks.  If he didn’t think like me, he was wrong.

Can you believe we have been married for nearly 22 years?  The only reason we have managed to make it this far is because I began to realize the destruction my controlling nature was having and took steps to change it.

If you have control issues, they might not be as significant as mine were.  But even a little bit can destroy a marriage.  Recognize the harm in doing this and then take steps to learn to let go.

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