Loggerhead's comments

My Spouse Hits Me - Can a Wife Abuse Her Husband? - Blog Entry

22 Mar 2009 08:11 PM

I've often wondered what degree it takes to make a married man feel abused by his wife. Where the line for a man to abuse his wife is always clear: a gentleman does not hit a woman; the line for a woman appears to be obfuscated and take on many different means to achieve the desired end for her. I admit it sounds and feels a little pathetic. However, in my case I find I've observed the following behaviors:

1. Isolation of the subject from Friends and Family (Any outside source of emotional support/stability). 2. Absolute absence of solidarity or support internally 3. Possible cues of sociopathic/psychopathic tendencies 4. Guises and posturing to build positions of trust 5. Barbs and condescending behavior toward subject 6. Lack of Accountability/Responsibility for mutually affective actions

These all to be tied in together in the case I'm experiencing. I know what I'm reporting is first person and subjective, but its happening none the less and I guess if I can approach it as collected as possible, I can try to make sense or identify the underlying issue. Now here are the concessions I'd make:

I admit I'm a difficult person to get along with. I have viscious ADD, I've been behind the financial 8-ball for about 2 years, and I'm the runt of my family. Its been my mantra, however, for years, that no matter how ugly she get's, I never hit back. And I haven't. I've had plates thrown at me, a stone tile strike my cheekbone, windshields smashed, CDs smashed and destroyed (even those of friends) and so on, my PC, which houses my entire business, is pushed to the brink of complete failure and my dogs and children are constantly surrounded by a state of anxiety.

I'm currently working with my colleagues on getting a commercial software out into the market, which means I'm particularly stressed. It also means I'm a bit focused on what I'm trying to accomplish. For the past 10 months, I've been enduring an unbelieveable array of attention seeking behavior which, when it goes unrewarded, or underewarded, I've hell to pay.

At some point, I'm hoping having some success will enable us to part ways with the necessary finances to care for our children, safely and comfortably. I don't want to leave, but she's already angling at their custody and looking to recruit everyone around me for her big play. She's had conversations with my family and friends building a persona around me which I hope they question. I've resigned myself to whatever fallout is going to occur. I'm still trying to focus on getting my work done and producing a living for all of us, but I'm hoping that can be peacefully separate.