LostInAtlanta's comments

The experience of losing a parent - Blog Entry

07 Jan 2009 02:22 PM

I lost my mom the day after Christmas last year and my sister and I just laid her to rest on last Friday, Jan. 2, 2009....wow what a way to bring in the New Year! I have beaten myself up over the last few days....you see I just saw my mother on Christmas Day and I had spoken to her that morning and she told me she had been throwing up all night and she throw up my dressing I had made..I said how do you know it was my dressing mom and she said, becuz I can taste the turkey sausage....I said, whatever you probably threw up everyone's food.....she told me to make sure I picked up her prescription and a pack of rolaids...I said, okay, but I can't do it now becuz I'm on the southside of town...I was watching a friend's dog...I often wonder what if I had went straight over there to mom's house would it have made a difference? Then I think...that's not how GOD wanted it...my mother called me the morning of her death...as if she knew it was going to be her last time speaking with me. I loved my mother dearly and wish I could have told her that, but that again wasn't in GOD's plan! Oh mother! We miss you so much! We love you so much! Our lives have changed drastically....you see my mother was the rock that kept the family together after my grandmother died....now that force has been broken.....I know that each day will get better...WOW! I use to speak to my mother 3 or 4 times a day and know I can only speak to her out loud and don't except a response back! My mother came to the other night while I was sleeping....I asked her was she happy where she was and she said yes, but she said it as if she was sad...I asked if she could walk where she was and she said yes....I said, mommy one more question and then I woke up...part of me feels peace, but the other part feels like my mom is sad to see us hurting....