matto's comments

Permissive Parenting: An Overview - Blog Entry

21 Feb 2007 10:36 PM

I like this description of the dangers of permissive parenting. I believe my sister is a permissive parent. She is constantly explaining to her children why their behavior is incorrect, but never actually disciplines them. They are 5 year old twins, and they are (in my opinion) rude, pushy, and disruptive. When I was visiting, the little girl had a tantrum in a theater (after the show ended) because she couldn't put her glove on. My sister just allowed her to continue and talked to her calmly, but I was mortified. Everybody in the audience heard it and were commenting on it. At home, the son wiped his dirty fingers on my shirt, pretending to be affectionate towards me. I think it was incredibly manipulative. Of course my interpretation could be incorrect, or perhaps they are just not nice to me for some reason.

The problem is that I've told my sister that I think she should discipline her kids instead of just explaining to them their bad behavior, but she becomes absolutely furious with me and shuts me down. I don't know what to do. I feel her children are starving from lack of discipline. Is there anything I can do? Unfortunately I've had to promise her that this discussion is completely off limits, because of how upset she got when I last told her about it. She said she has a good relationship with her children, and that I don't see them day-to-day, and that my advice was "incredibly hurtful and painful".

Any suggestions?