So, you’ve done it, dad. You’ve got the kids to bed, you paid the bills, folded the sheets, she’s baked some bread, and amazingly, the evening is yours. What next?
Okay, this is not as much about being a father as it should be, but one of the duties of a father is to make sure that there is good culture in the house, and also to make sure that when you get a few moments to romance, you’re ready with something good for both of you. It’s very frustrating when you want to be in the mood and songs from The Backyardigans keep popping up in your head. (Fun as they are, I’m pretty sure that you don’t want to shout “Eureka!” like little Pablo and Tyrone at the inappropriate moment.)
Like a lot of guys, I have a List. It’s not a list of useful things to do, reminders of anniversaries, or anything practical. It’s a List of What Movies She Has to Watch Before You Even THINK of Popping The Question. Look, it’s important; she might not share your absolute passion for Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, but she should at least be able to enjoy Trek IV: The Voyage Home (that’s the one about the whales). If she’s too optimistic to appreciate the cynical genius of a Billy Wilder, then you gotta move on.
What guys don’t always realize is this: she’s got her own list somewhere, too, and she’s always better organized than you, and you better get ready. Going to the video store is a big event, and guys don’t want to blow it, but they should not have to be dragged kicking and screaming either. I don’t blame men for hating Titanic. I blew out the Indiglo function on my watch from checking it out so much when I saw it in the theater. And cheesy comedies built on silly misunderstandings are just a dime a dozen. But here are a few romantic movies you both can love:
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (Blake Edwards, 1961). It runs roughshod over the original Capote novel, but Audrey Hepburn is so great you never notice. Our Valentine’s Day ritual. Yes, I am uncomfortable with Mickey Rooney’s portrayal of the Japanese landlord, but I am enlightened enough not to let that be a defining image for me.
Before Sunrise (Richard Linklater, 1995). Two people – an American and a Frenchwoman – meet on a train in Vienna and decide to alter their plans and spend it together, talking, taking in the city, talking, making love, and then some more talking. Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy are terrific as the two young people who think they might have some idea of what life is about, but really don’t, and love to talk about the difference. Smart, funny, and how I remember my twenties. And yes, there’s a lot of truths and brilliance in the long-awaited sequel, Before Sunset.
Summertime (David Lean, 1955). Another European romance. This time Katherine Hepburn, a midwestern woman terrified of the possbility of spinsterhood, travels to Venice, and meets a charming attractive Italian, only to discover that he is married (unhappily) with children. It’s beautiful to look at if you get a good copy on DVD, and it will break your heart.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (George Roy Hill, 1969). Hollywood’s real first love story between two cowboys? Probably not (that honor likely goes to the Burt Lancaster/Kirk Douglas version of Gunfight at the O.K. Corral). But it’s got Newman and Redford, what more could you need? Especially when you throw in Katherine Ross and a bicycle and B.J. Thomas singing “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head.”
Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love (Mira Nair, 1997). Beautiful if conventional story of love in India in the 16th century. The plot, as I say is typical, but the sexual politics modern. And the lovemaking scenes – inspired by the famous book – are incredible in their beauty and eroticism. This is why they invented pause buttons.
And on that note, I’m going to make sure my daughters are sound asleep… a dad’s job is never done…
(thanks to Heather for her recent post on romantic movies)