MSGirl's comments

Dealing with a Narcissistic Family Member

23 Jul 2008 06:10 AM

I am the product of a narcissistic family. I was not allowed to voice any negative feelings or worries as a child. If I did so, I was "hurting" my mother. I have a physical birth defect that is painful to me, but when I talked about how it felt as a teenager, my mother said I was making her feel bad because she felt so awful that I had it. So I was not even allowed to voice my sadness about it.

I have never won a fight with my mother. She can say the meanest things to me and I always end up apologizing to her just to make peace. My father supports her (I know he loves me but he will not stand up to her). As a teenager my mother would confide in me about her sexual problems with my father. It made me so uncomfortable but if I just voiced the least objection, she would punish me with silence. She had a tough childhood herself so I always felt that I could never understand how hard her life was, so I was just selfish.

My question for those of you out there is, do you have difficulty in making decisions as an adult? I do not think I have ever made a decision that I did not question, including my marriage. I feel positively in one direction one day, then completely differently the next. I have never been able to figure out what my "core" is. If anyone has ever felt this way, I'd love to get your feedback.