My life is HELL!!

This topic contains 10 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  mcmama 5 years, 11 months ago.

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  • #171994

    Mtmom

    Ok, maybe that’s a little drastic, I suppose it could be worse, I know it is for alot of people in this world so I’m almost ashamed to whine about my life, but here it goes anyway.
    We relocated from the city to the country about 7 months ago and I hate it here. It was my husband’s idea. I too wanted to move away from where we were living because the neighborhood was getting bad, and dangerous. We decided on moving to the country because we have family here so at least we wouldn’t be living somewhere where we didn’t know anyone at all. I thought I would welcome the change and peaceful life compared to the hustle and bustle of city life but I’m not adjusting very well. It took me FOREVER to find a job. My 16 year old is struggling in school and facing failure in math, he’s always been an honor roll student so this is completely out of the ordinary for him. I don’t let on to my unhappiness around him and he’s made many friends here and seems to be adjusting although he tells me when he graduates school, he wants to go back to where we moved from, I know he misses his old neighborhood. In the meantime, I’m just so depressed and I’m not sure what to do about it. I’m stuck here with no way out. This is not my way, I’m normally always happy and joking around and life was good, now I feel like I’m in hell 24-7.

    #892893

    MJ7

    I’m so sorry :( . Not only are you dealing with a move but have moved into an area where life moves a little differently. This was one of my fears of moving into either the country or a big city; our pace of life changing in addition to our neighborhood. To be honest 7 mo doesn’t seem like enough time to be used to the pace of a new life. It took my dh and I a couple years to feel like we were adjusting. I know that’s not what you want to hear but I want to share this because I want you to know the feelings you have are totally understandable and justified. You go and vent away. I’m sure many others can relate here too.

    Life is a bit slower here than where I used to live so I understand some of the changes, but I do like the people and neighborhoods here much better. Perhaps one day we’ll move back “home”; not looking forward to that either.

    #892905

    kimchee67

    I just wanted to let you know that I understand your situation, and I wouldn’t feel bad about having a hard time adjusting to your new area. I moved from a pretty bustling city into a smaller one. We are 2 blocks up from a very busy area, but at the same time we are in the middle of a residential area. Where we were living before was very different, and I really miss it. We moved because the area was not ideal for raising a family, but the area we are in now is known for being a great family place. I pretty much hated it here when we moved in August, but the more I go out and explore the better it gets. I hope that you get adjusted soon and find your place in your new area.

    #892922

    JeanLynn81

    Oh girl I hear ya! I am definately a city girl at heart-lived in st. louis city until I was 17. I have lived in the county since, and that’s about as country as I get! City to country is a GIANT change. MJ is right. It’ll take quite awhile to get used to it.

    I hope your situation improves. Hopefully your son’s grades will improve when he adjusts as well. :)

    Btw welcome to Families…

    #892924

    GraciesMommy

    I moved across the country when I was 16 so I understand what your son is going through. I used to think I wanted to move “home” when I graduated, but I stayed here…and glad I did cause I met DH and now am extremely happy. He still has a few years before he graduates so he may change his mind.

    As for you, my mom is going through the same thing. She just moved and hates it there. She absolutely hates her job, and their church is really small (they were VERY active here) so she’s having a hard time meeting people and making friends. But they moved cause my step-dad got a new job and so they really didn’t have a choice. At least you have family there so you know some people, like you said. Could you plan a trip back to the city to visit your friends? Or have them come and visit you? I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time and I hope it gets bettter. {hugs}

    #892945

    MissyChrissy

    I think what you’re going through is totally normal when changing lifestyles like that. My cousin moved from small-town upstate NY to Fort Mill, SC just outside of Charlotte, NC and she kept “running away” taking 81 North of 2-3 years—every six months!!!! She’d get upset, miss everyone & decide the city life wasn’t for her…& come home. It put a huge strain on her marriage (she moved for her husband too). Thankfully, she’s come to see SC as home and can’t imagine ever coming back here to live. Perhaps in time you’ll feel the same way.

    #894024

    Mtmom

    It helps a bit to hear about other folks in the same boat and here that they eventually adjusted. It’s just such a huge change. I even considered leaving to go back with or without my husband of 18 years, whom I love dearly, then I think to myself “I can’t even believe I’m thinking of that”! That’s how desperate I feel at times. Thank you again for your replies.

    #894034

    QueenAngie

    Have you joined any local groups in your new hometown?

    Church groups, sports supporters, hobby groups, gardening groups,
    moms groups, book club, Red Hat club….those are a few that come to my mind.

    You are all having a big adjustment to a new home
    and it takes time for every member.

    Keep us posted!

    #986889

    Naiku

    Your life is hell??? are you jokeing??? I have moved so much in my life I have no friends… I finaly got a girlfriend my first one at the age of 15, cause I moved so much no-one wanted to date me…. Now seems like things are going good for me huh??? well no they arent…

    1. My parents are back stabbing me
    2. My girlfriend cheated on me
    3. My sister and mother are no longer speaking to me
    4. O yeah my parents divorced
    5. IM FAT
    6. Im smart as hell but lazy
    7. Im in highschool, Drama hell hole
    8. I hate my self
    9. Ive been to 6 therapists, they all quit on me because ive read therapy books so I know thier games…

    So hows your life compaired to mine??? Im whineing 2… but I mean for a 15 year old my life isnt the greatest…

    #986896

    mcmama

    Well gosh, your life just sucks, doesn’t it?

    Man, someone leaves up an old discussion about someone who finds themselves raising a family in the middle of nowhere, but hey, that’s nothing compared to not getting a date, being overweight, chronologically challenged and coping with parents. And maybe it isn’t. You sure have a lot going on which is tearing you down.

    Your therapists probably quit on you because you refuse to be helped. People who hate themselves have that problem. Or more likely they told your parents that they could not help you until you make some decisions. Or you quit on them.

    Funny, they have to go to college to read all those books – but in the middle of your self loathing, you’ve beat them to it!!!! Wow.

    Oh excuse me. I forgot. This is your pity party. Not wow. Woe.

    Being fat is a problem, but it’s not a reason to hate yourself. Been there, ate that, I know. I got divorced once. My kids thanked me. Not that it was easy for them, with joint physical custody for a year which I could not prevent which pretty much threw their backs out from all the schlepping, and sunk their grades because they couldnt keep track of homework at two houses. But once we got it straightened out that they lived with me and could see their dad whenever they wanted to, things got better. They actually like him now!

    No one can help you until you decide that it is time for a change.

    You cannot change your parents. But you don’t have to take on all the anger on yourself. There isn’t much that is your call, but that is one thing that you do own. I’d grab that if I were you.

    Pity party curfew time.

    #986899

    mcmama

    Do you live with your sister and your mother? Why are they no longer speaking to you, and how long has that been going on?

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