24 Sep 2006 12:56 PM

Aspbergers Syndrome

Well this is all new to me! Just todayI learned about Aspberger Syndrome and I THINK my Swedish husband qualifies!
I am from the States but have been married to a Swede and living in Sweden for the past 4 years. After so many seperations and returns to him, I am finally leaving him and going back to the U.S. But it does not seem to matter to him. Ever since we were married, I noticed the relationship changing. I am 7 years younger than him and he just turned 60 this year. I have been absolutely turning inside and out, upside and down trying to understand why? What happened?? I even thought in the begining that maybe he had a girlfriend. I could write a book about all of this but I won't. I'll try to summarize as best that I can.
He has gradually pulled away from me to the point of no intimacy. He is very very much into "control" over all of his "things". He hates to do anything, go anywhere except for his computer...(the "other" woman)
He keeps near perfect records of his "paid" bills in files on the bookshelf in our bedroom which date back to the 1970's! He saves the darndest things!
He HATED when our beloved dog would bark. I mean no one enjoys when the dog barks when the doorbell rings..(and thats all) but my husband would act like he was in pain! Really weird about it!
He is secretive, wants his privacy,and control over his life. The fact that our marriage is ending, seems not to bother him as he shows absolute no remorse. I am the one breaking apart inside!
He cannot stay off of the computer. We go to bed seperately and he is up till 4:30 am with his "hobby" on Flickr...that photo storing and sharing site. He used to download music till he had thousands of songs and would stay up the same hours doing that. Even when we were newly weds he was showing signs of the computer being his priority. Nedless to say, the honeymoon ended fast.
He must have complete control over his "things" or else he gets soooo upset!
When I try to talk to him he is constantly defensive, and I cannot believe the things that come out of his mouth....he's like a little boy! He does not retain the things I say to him and argues back to me in this gruffy lous voice!
He has actually raised his fist to me a couple of times. He has pushed his body against me and backed me up into the wall and all the while making this gruff sound with his teeth gritting! Its unbelievable!
I have loved this man with all of my heart and soul but it does not move him!
He is the "baby" of the siblings and the only son. His family tells me he was very babied and that he hated that!
Oh I could go on here but I think you get the picture. I have just wracked my brains over this situation to the point now of deciding to end this thru a divorce. He does not seem bothered by this and still continues doing his own thing as if nothing was wrong!
I leave Sweden on the 27th of September. I am in the middle of packing and found a wonderful home for our beloved dog a week ago. My heart completely and utterly broken. I gave up so much for him and he never acknowledges's that.
I've tried so hard to keep us together but he does not seem to want this. His life and his privacy and his things far out weigh our marriage. I am trying to put the missing puzzle pieces together here.
What do you think???

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