oheffalump's comments

Would You Allow Your 15-Year-Old Daughter to Date a 20-Year-Old Guy?

25 Aug 2009 02:51 PM

I think this is a very controversial topic and it's very interesting to see how opinions vary simply according to country.

In the UK, 16 is the age of consent, and is the age that I was at when my partner of now almost 3 years got together. He is almost six years older than me.

To say that all 15-year-olds are not mature enough to handle a 20-year-old is crass ... as a general rule it is probably correct, but there are individual cases out there that vary greatly from this. Coming from an abusive background, I have probably experienced far more horrors than your average 30-year-old, so I think it's safe to say that in terms of maturity, at 16 I was more than mentally ready for a 21-year-old. I was always told that I was wise beyond my years, and I should think so too when I was raised in such a way!

I had tried dating boys my own age at the time, only to find that everything crumbled because I already wanted someone to settle down with and they all just wanted sex! My grades slipped every single time I dated a teen boy, yet D encouraged me to get on with my school-work and even refused to see me if I hadn't completed the work I needed to do.

My brother, who is now 15, is dating a 20-year-old. According to UK law, the girl is a paedophile. So regardless of whether or not my brother is mature enough to handle it, it's wrong, and I totally agree with that. Of course, others would question what a year would make in difference, but obviously it does or else the law wouldn't be the way it is ...

In my opinion? It would depend on how mature my daughter is when she turns SIXTEEN. I would judge based on her individual, mental maturity rather than her age alone, but she would at least have to be sixteen.