Search Results for: i need help with my sex life

Providing Real Life Role Models

Recently Myra Turner wrote about the influence of song lyrics on teenagers and it got me to thinking about all of the ready-made role models our teens are digesting. Media personalities and sports heroes whom they are spoon-fed and led to believe are “role models.” It dawned on me that as parents, we need to combat those pseudo role models by helping to provide “real life” role models for our kids. Real life role models can be inspirational in their very ordinariness. Years ago, when my eldest daughter was in the fifth grade, her TAG class went on a field … Continue reading →

Insurance As A Lifestyle

This is the first Blog of many where Insurance as a Lifestyle will be the focus. Yes, I hear the laughing! How on earth can Insurance be a Lifestyle and who is the crazy person suggesting that insurance might have anything to do with Lifestyle? My hope is to help change this attitudes and share with my readers How and Why insurance is and should be part of any successful, productive and safe lifestyle. With nearly every choice we as human beings make there are consequences. As parents we try to teach our children that running into the street is … Continue reading →

Glossary of Special Needs Adoption-Related Terms “A”

Special Needs and Adoption-Related Terms: Adoption terms and special needs words may vary from agency to agency. The terms used in this Special Needs Adoption-Related Glossary may be slightly different from one State to another. A | B | C | D | E-F | G-H-I | J-K-L | M | N-O | P | Q-R | S | T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z Abuse: Harm inflicted on a person through physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual means; may cause victim to develop emotional or behavioral problems, some of which may not appear until later in life. Help from an experienced counselor or therapists may … Continue reading →

Disclosures of Sexual Assaults often lead to Dissociation

When somebody makes a public disclosure of a previously private abuse they are indeed extremely brave. A multitude of fears run through their mind and body: will I be believed, will I be blamed, will I be in trouble. These faulty cognitions are the result of societal constraints of allowing people to tell the truth and the powerful dynamic of control that predators use against a victim, even many, many years following the abuse. Following a disclosure, a victim frequently feels re-victimized and they are hypersensitive to other’s reactions. When support networks say nothing, it can leave the victim second-guessing … Continue reading →

My Monday Feet Were Made For Walking

Just five days left until the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I’ll be walking the 1K next Saturday morning and I need to be on site by 6:30 in the morning. Part of my preparation is walking 1K every other day this week and riding my stationary bike for 45 minutes on the alternating days. Since the walk takes place outdoors with more than 10,000 participants, I’ll be alternating the incline to imitate walking up and down hills as well as the uneven feeling of pavement under the feet. The 1K is not a huge distance to walk, … Continue reading →

The Use of Open-Ended Questions in Finding Out About Child Sexual Abuse

Children hate the volley of questions that they get from adults. Along with all the children I’ve worked with therapeutically over the years, my own children have told me that adult questions are like Policeman questions. Charming! When I’m trying to establish rapport and build a relationship with a child, the last thing I want to sound like is a Police person. The way you frame and use your questions is the trick. While questions are useful when starting a relationship, they can also quickly stifle it. Useful questions don’t just happen; they need planning and placement in a framework … Continue reading →

How to Ask a Child if They’ve Been Sexually Abused.

The hard and awful questions of are life are usually left in the too hard basket. Parents may have an inkling that something is wrong because their child’s behavior has changed. While some parents never even consider that it could be sexual abuse, other parents (like me) worry themselves sick over the possibility of sexual abuse but most will never raise it as a possibility with their child. Sexual abuse is a hard topic to begin talking about if it has not been part of at home protective behavior discussions. Mebe’s story and early craving for someone to ask him … Continue reading →

Sexual Abuse of Boys: Mebe’s Personal Story.

Mebe (fictious name chosen by the person concerned) was seven when a family friend started paying him a lot of attention. The friend would seek Mebe out, buy him sweets, take him on outings and treated him as a prince. Because Mebe’s parents were busy with their jobs and their other children, they were grateful that Mebe had some individual attention from such a nice, responsible man. Mebe’s behaviour became worse and worse. He did graffiti on walls, other’s property and wrote rude notes at school. Mebe was in trouble at school, home and in his heart. He was trying … Continue reading →

Umbrellas and Parrots to Help Play Protect our Children. Thanks Mary Poppins.

I’m back and how I have missed my friends at families.com. However, my recent Protective Play tour to Maryborough was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I was guest speaker at the breakfast launch of Sexual Violence Awareness month and facilitated a four-hour training in the BITSS model of Protective Behaviors. Twenty-one social science professionals attended the training and we played with everyday toys and household items in an effort to discover novel ways to instill protective behavior teachable moments into families’ homes. Of most interest to me was the revisit of the umbrella as a protective play tool. Umbrellas are useful for protection from … Continue reading →

Recovery From a Rape. YOU Can Immediately Help.

Rape and sexual assault are life-changing occurrences. They violate a women’s soul because her essence has been attacked. The effects of the rape can last for many years, sometimes even a lifetime. Survivors may feel isolated and alone, different and unusual. They are none of these. Many women have been sexually assaulted but they do not feel comfortable in publicly discussing it. No matter what circumstance she was assaulted under, it is NEVER her fault and there is no shame attached to it. Her shame is self-designed because of a fear of being judged from you. Blame statements: Remarks from … Continue reading →