Pam Connell's comments

Becoming an Adoptive Parent: Adjustments I Had to Make - Blog Entry

08 Jan 2007 12:42 AM

Congratulations Ed--it's truly awesome. Our kids are definitely the best motivation we can have. You've inspired me to make a few changes too. --Pam

Child Abuse: A New Case and Two Updates - Blog Entry

08 Jan 2007 12:39 AM

I'm so glad at least one state is hiring more child protection workers. Keep up the good work Ed! -Pam

Anatomy of a Homestudy - Blog Entry

08 Jan 2007 12:06 AM

Thanks Crickett. What surprised us more was how many personal questions the references were asked. In addition to the expected things about our lifestyle, stability, parenting of our current children, etc., our references reported feeling at a loss to answer questions about our communication, decisionmaking, relationship and financial situation. We are private people and I suspect even our family members had some difficulty with these questions. Fortunately no one mentioned a problem with the references, so the social worker must have felt ok with the generic comments made by the references to the effect that our whatever our marital communication style was, it apparently worked. Next time I would definitely warn my references ahead of time to be prepared for some serious questions. It's definitely a lot more involved than a typical employment reference.

Thanks for writing!--Pam

Child Left With Caretaker is Dead - Blog Entry

27 Dec 2006 02:08 PM

How dreadful for a child who has lost a sibling to be separated from mother as well!

Can We Ever Just Appear Without Being Explained? - Blog Entry

22 Dec 2006 03:18 AM

Dear Snapshot,

I think you're absolutely right that we should acknowledge we're adoptive families and that we have differences, and educate others about the issues adoptive families face. There are a few good books for children which specifically deal with the issue of explaining adoption. (I'll try to get to those in a blog soon!)

I guess I'm just saying that I personally would like to see adoptive families, in addition to being featured in stories about adoption, also to be represented in images of "regular families". We often now see children of different races pictured in books that have nothing to do with race. Why not see some picture books showing more multiracial families?

Thanks for reading and I hope to hear more from you soon!

Traveling to Our Daughter, Part Two - Blog Entry

13 Dec 2006 02:31 PM

Thanks for reading, Mary Ann. The third and final part is posted now. Are you adopting as well?

Funding Your Adoption - Grants and Loans - Blog Entry

12 Dec 2006 02:17 PM

The "Adoption Help" link listed above is a wonderful resource listing dozens of grants, loan services, tax breaks, employers who provide partial reimbursements, state subsidies, fundraising ideas, travel discounts for adopting families and more. It includes resources for both domestic and international adoption.

Adopted Children Need New Social Security Numbers - Blog Entry

11 Dec 2006 03:01 PM

Hi Ed,

We had a related issue with international adoption. Our daughter's adoption was finalized after she had been home with us for 9 months. We did get her name changed on her social security card at that time. However, despite the fact that a 2001 law is supposed to make the child's citizenship automatic upon adoption by US citizens, we learned later that she was still on file at the SS office as a resident alien. (Despite our having obtained a US Passport for her. One cannot assume that federal agencies will talk to each other!) Your point about the number possibly being used for tracking purposes is excellent.

Protecting Your Child's Identity - Blog Entry

11 Dec 2006 02:56 PM

thanks MJ for a great and much-needed article. I also refer to my kids by nicknames.

11 Things Some Adoptive Parents Would Like Birth Family by State Adoption to Know - Blog Entry

30 Nov 2006 04:55 PM

Well said, MJ. I've thought many of those same things in the context of international adoption as well. I do believe our children were loved. Some birthparents were better able to show that love than others. And I love what you said about valuing--not just tolerating-- the things that come to our kids from genes other than our own. If someone were to ask me whether I woudn't lie a kid who looked like me, my mom and my aunt and had good verbal skills, I'd say, "Oh no, I love having a kid who can carry a tune and look good in the color peach!"