04 Mar 2007 09:37 PM
The beginning of the end.
My name is Elena and my husband is a meth addict. For the last year, our relationship has struggled with good times, but mostly bad. I have been the object of his drug induced anger and have many times been hurt physically in the process. For a long time I didn't know that he was doing drugs, but when I found out and confronted him, our problems began.
We were married on February 14th of 2006. May was the first incident where Tim became violent. We had had an argument about him and his drugs and it led to me being choked and thrown into a corner, our seven month old son, Landon, was asleep in his room. That was the first time I got a protective order on him and he went to jail. His cousin bailed him out and, despite the protective order, we talked on the phone. He told me that he was very sorry and he should never have done it, that it would never happen again. He was ordered by the court to seek anger management and see a probation officer every month until December. He would then be evaluated again to see if he would continue with the probabtion. I, believing that it was a one time thing, dropped the protective order and let him come back home.
We went a while living a normal life again, but the violence returned. For months I was choked and threatened. Once, he even choked me and kicked me in the ribs so hard that I fell into our entertainment center. I was bruised badly but never told anyone. All in all, I have had four protective orders, all which were dropped because of the love I had for Tim. I thought he would get the help he promised he would get, but he never did. Everytime I had the strenth to leave, he would attempt suicide, pulling me back in. There was one night that I woke up to him crying in the bed next to me. There was blood on his hands but not on his wrists where I thought he had cut himself. I ripped his shirt off of him and saw that he had mutilated his chest and stomach. I lost my job so that I could take him to the hospital.
I watched helplessly as Tim ruined himself and our family for the temporary high and drug dealers that he always put infront of me and our son. There were times that we went weeks at a time and gota long perfectly, but when things were bad, they were very bad. The last incident was on January 24th, 2007. He had been up for six days and was coming down. I confronted him on it and told him to leave, that I didn't want to see him anymore if he couldn't chose us over meth. Among other small things, he picked up our son (who was wearing nothing but a T shirt and a diaper) and ran with him into the fifteen degree winter weather. I chased after him and took Landon. When I turned to go back in the house, Tim punched me in the eye, knocking me unconcious. I fell to the ground, Landon still in my arms. if my friend hadn't been there to catch him, he would have hit his head on the concrete. When I came to, he was running at me with the intent to kick me in my stomach... I was 4 months pregnant at the time. Another of our friends was there and prevented that from happening. The thought that I could have lost both my children that day is what gave me the strenth to leave.
The first month was easier than expected, we had no contact. (He went to jail for two days, then his mother bailed him out. He lived with her for the time before we went to court). We went to court at the end of February and he was sentenced to six months in jail, two suspended. He will be released not long before our second baby is due.
It has been hard in the last week, waking up alone and going to bed alone. I know that this is for the best, but I still miss the person that I married. I wish things could have been different, but when you are addicted to meth, nothing matters except that next high. I hope that this website will introduce me to other women that have been abused by meth users so maybe I won't feel so alone anymore...
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