pastfirst's comments

Causes of Marriage Break Ups

17 Feb 2009 05:03 AM

Many couples stay together only for the sake of the children, and as soon as the kids grow up and fly from the nest, there is nothing tleft o keep the marriage together.

Causes of Marriage Break Ups

17 Feb 2009 05:02 AM

Many couples stay together only for the sake of the children, and as soon as the kids grow up and fly fromt he nest, there is nothing tleft o keep the marriage together.

How to Ask for More Sex from Your Husband

10 Feb 2009 05:09 AM

You are so right. Men are often more sensative than women, especially when their masculinity is in question. When a wife shows anger, the husband questions his self-worth, which in-turn dinishes his libido.

The Gift of Unconditional Acceptance

05 Feb 2009 01:32 AM

I'd like to know how many married couples really love their spouse unconditionally. Loving a child unconditionally is a "different kettle of fish". Our children are part of us. What we give them, we receive in return. Our spouses do not naturally deserve such love. We may love them, but in most cases this emotion is not unconditional. It's a different kind of love.

How to Get Your Marriage in Better Shape

02 Feb 2009 02:30 AM

You're so right. I'm in a long-term relationship and the one thing missing is complimenting each other. WE only seem to know how to critisize. I keep telling him how important it is for me to hear a good work every now and then but I realise I'm also to blame. So thanks for your post. As from to-day, I'll compliment every positive thing he does.

Don't Fight Fire with Fire

02 Feb 2009 02:22 AM

I enjoyed your post but would like to comment on a few points. Firemen usually douse the fire when it's already out of control. They don't get called in when there are a few innocent flames. It's easier said than done to cool an argument before it becomes full blown. We're creatures of instinct and our reactions are often reflex. If we wait quietly for our spouse to run out of oxygen, we've let him have the last word...no way! (only joking). The problem is that both parties feel an uncontrolable need to prove their point.

You, Your Kids and Divorce: Coming Back

25 Jan 2009 03:09 AM

I've been divorced 7 years, and am in full agreement with your post. Keeping on good terms with our ex for the sake of the kids, is easier said than done but if a concious effort is made, it can be done. My ex did every thing he could to turn my kids against me. I decided not to stoop down to his level. As his anger lessened, he realised I was in the right and that the problem was between the two of us, and the kids should not be involved. Don't get back at each other through the children. They have enough to deal with. We now have a cordial (not friendly) relationship.

The Power of the Ex

25 Jan 2009 02:59 AM

An interesting post. I try very hard not to make comparisons between people, whether they be ex partners, or even between my kids. Every person is different, and everyone has his/her plusses and minuses. My advice is to concentrate on the GOOD points of our present partner and put the ex behind us.

Seek Help Early with Marriage Difficulties

25 Jan 2009 02:40 AM

Hi, I enjoyed your checklist. I waited 23 years before getting a divorce although I can relate to all your points (except the last). Why did I wait? 1. We had our good moments. 2. Our lives revolved around our children. 3. Habit. 4. Fear of the unknown. 5. Fear of being alone.

I've never looked back since my divorce.

Changing Patterns in Marriage -Part 2

25 Jan 2009 02:30 AM

I thought I had a relatively "normal" marriage until my kids left home. We had our ups and downs, but our life was the kids. As soon as they flew the nest, we found we had nothing in common. We didn't enjoy being together and began arguing about everything. Eventually we got divorced after 23 years of married life. I know that many couples encounter the same problem.