A while ago, I mentioned that I have been reading (and rereading and rereading) the book “Playful Parenting”, by Lawrence J. Cohen. Not only have I been reading it quite a bit, I have been test – driving some of the material. I am becoming a more playful parent, and I like that a lot. The kids seem to like it, too, and we seem to be having a better overall experience now than we have in the past.
Yesterday, I spent the day alternating between fun play sessions with the boys and bits of “Mommy Time” where I worked on things that needed to be done around the house, like dishes and laundry. We had a pleasant day and I was surprised at how much I was able to get done around the house. Mr. Cohen mentions this in his book, and now I’m a believer – when we become more playful, we end up with more time to do what we need to do instead of less, because the kids feel more fulfilled and more inclined to let us be for a few minutes and we waste less time fussing at them to do or not do things. Since I focused intently on the boys while we were playing, they were able to play on their own while I did bits of housework here and there. It seemed as if both boys felt satisfied with the amount of attention that they got throughout the day, and there were fewer times where I felt frustrated and overwhelmed.
As an added bonus, I stumbled upon a new strategy to employ during those stressful moments when I want to yell at the boys. I don’t like to yell, but it does happen more often than I would like to admit. I try to work things out in a peaceful way, but I eventually get pushed to my limit and then I start shouting. For some reason, the idea popped into my head that perhaps I should try something different because shouting simply does not result in improved behavior. On a whim, I asked Dylan whether he would be more responsive to my requests if I whispered them instead of shouting. He smiled and said that he would, and we decided to call it “the serious whisper”. Several times during the evening, I wanted to shout at him. Instead, I whispered. Surprisingly, he complied. This is huge, and I hope that it continues.