When I became a mom, I had no idea about the amount of judgments that people make about moms every day. It does not matter whether the judgment comes from another mom who does things differently than you do or from your parents, or even from random people at the grocery store – it does not feel very good. Even worse, people make judgments about things over which you have no real control, like when your child becomes potty trained.
Since every child is different, every child potty trains in his or her own time. This is such a simple concept, yet many people still cannot grasp it, or they can understand it and they choose not to. It does not matter whether your mother had you potty trained by age two, or whether the neighbor’s three year old is completely potty trained while your three and a half year old still uses diapers. Like many other developmental tasks, there is a large time frame during which most children learn how to use the potty and use it regularly.
When I talk to my mom friends about potty training, we all laugh about it. Each of us uses different methods, and have had varying degrees of success. We laugh because our kids are just so different when it comes to all things potty. For example, my son will poop in the potty no problem, but he won’t use the potty for pee. One of my friends has a son who does exactly the opposite. I know people who offer rewards and sticker charts, and people (like me) who don’t use any method at all.
After we are done laughing, though, we commiserate about the judgments that have been tossed our way in regards to our childrens’ potty training or lack thereof. There are grandparents who think that it is absurd that three and a half year old children are not fully potty trained. There are also other moms who have made competitive comments about how their kids potty trained at such and such an age. If you are a parent and you have been on the receiving end of judgmental comments regarding your toddler’s progress on the potty, take heart. Each child learns to use the potty when it is right for him. Your child is wonderful, as are you. Potty learning will happen on your child’s schedule, not on the schedule of those who would judge him (and you).
Photo by ZeroSilence3 on Morguefile.com.