professionalsoccermom's commentsComments On: Everything Articles Blogs Journals Photos created by: Everyoneprofessionalsoccermom College Professors- Are They Worth More Money?01 Oct 2007 12:15 PM I think that there's certainly a range of effort, commitment, and effectiveness at every level of teaching. Do you know that professors at many universities (especially in the science departments at research universities) have to recover half or more of their salaries from research grants? And that there's a huge range in college faculty salaries, such that some college instructors make much less than the teachers in my kids' public schools. I don't think it's possible to judge the relative values of different groups in education. It's a tough job at all levels. Sometimes, It's Tough Being Different01 Oct 2007 11:57 AM I'm not a single parent but I have to say how much I admire you/them - and I mean this sincerely and not in any way condescending. I have a colleague who adopted two minority pre-teen boys as a single mom - wow. I met a divorced woman several weeks ago who has brought up four sons, one with special needs - wow. My life is busy enough with just two kids and a hub to help, so I can only imagine how much more challenging it is to be a working single mom. I'm just very impressed, and I wanted to say that "different" in some eyes can be really "fabulous." Is it Right to Marry for Money?01 Oct 2007 11:26 AM Goodness. It's 2007. I know lots of women marry for money but I personally thought it was up to me to go out and earn it myself if I wanted it. That's what we're teaching both our kids. Marriages made for money = marriages built on weak foundations, imo. Today's Dating Emasculates Men01 Oct 2007 11:13 AM Gaaaaa. What year is it again? When I met the hub, I was making nearly twice as much as he. It made perfect sense for me to pay, and I don't think he felt emasculated at all. He made me perfectly happy in a myriad of other ways, and I like to think I made him happy in many ways that had nothing to do with my paying the check. Now after over a decade of marriage, the pay gap has narrowed to almost nothing but it doesn't matter because it's not his salary and my salary, it's the family's income. We're raising our kids to see people of both genders as people and not girls or boys with stereotyped expectations. It'll continue to be a pretty shallow world filled with pretty weak relationships if a person's ego is going to be dependent on who pays for a meal. Shouldn't consideration for a person's particular circumstance trump traditional ego-based roles? Should You Date a Co-Worker?01 Oct 2007 11:06 AM The hub and I met at work, more than a dozen years ago. Marriage, two kids, and a move across the country later, we still work together. This is the third place where we've worked together. We talk about work at work and at home, and we talk about home at work and at home. We've never had a major argument the entire time we've known each other, and it's probably because we've been so available to each other and talk everything out when need be so we understand each other quite well. There are clearly couples who cannot separate their professional personas from their private personas, but there are other couples who can easily comingle their professional and private lives with no problem at all. Is Divorce an Option in Your Marriage?01 Oct 2007 10:58 AM What's the point in saving a marriage when the people in it obviously don't care enough about each other or their marriage to bother to do it properly? In the example you provided, the partners, especially the wife, clearly aren't mature enough to be part of a long-lasting marriage. Why force them to stay together when both will be miserable? I've been married over a decade and have two kids. Our lives are busy and our marriage is strong. While we're juggling all the time, it's effortless for us to stay together because we like/love/respect each other. I think instead of making divorces harder, marriages should be more difficult. Couples should consider going through a workshop/counselling before marriage. So many people get married without understanding how their future spouse makes decisions about money, family, career, friends, etc. and face reality only when the honeymoon ends. It may not be very romantic, but these issues should be openly discussed and shared before marriage - there may be fewer marriages, but on the other hand there may be fewer divorces. Should a Prenup Be Compulsory These Days?01 Oct 2007 10:50 AM I've been married over a decade and I expect we'll be together to the end. We have no prenup - but we were both so poor when we got married that there was no point anyway. I think prenups are a good idea worthy of being seriously considered by all couples. It's true that they are typically used to protect pre-marital assets, but they can also be used to ensure post-marital generosity. And considering how many marriages end in divorce, it's not a bad idea to prepare for that possibility when one is in a generous and affectionate frame of mind, i.e. when preparing for marriage. The hub and I have disability, long term care, and life insurance but we're not looking forward to being disabled, terminally ill, or dead - it doesn't mean that being prepared for those misfortune possibilities diminishes our commitment to living healthy lives fully. Similarly, I don't think that being prepared for a possible fair/generous divorce does not mean that a couple will not be committing themselves fully to building a healthy long marriage. Sometimes preparing for the worst means that one can stop thinking about it as a possibility and focus on the good. |
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