14 Oct 2006 07:55 PM

Church Lady ~ The True Story

I was in charge of a huge luncheon for the church ladies and the speaker was the national church womens president. Very impressive.
I went over the checklist in great detail so that everything would be just perfect.

Speakers table looked lovely - check.

All the banquet tables were properly set with floral centerpieces in copper pots - check.

Food was smelling delicious - check.

Dessert table looked some thing out of a bakery - check.

Coffee was perking and the drinks were all prepared - check.

The committee of ladies had worked very hard all morning so that everything was perfect.

One of the ladies, "Leslie" had donated many of the centerpieces with her
lovely collection of copper items. Now, I really didn't know Leslie, but
she was really friendly.

We ladies were sipping coffee in between working. Leslie had gotten
into the food storage area that we keep for folks that need a helping hand
and made some frozen orange juice. That seemed a little odd, but
I thought to myself......Maybe Leslie is diabetic and needs it.

As the event hour drew closer, we all changed our clothes and got tidied.
Leslie was still sipping her OJ and in her blue jeans.
It seemed odd to me that she was not going to change
as this was a dressy event.

The hall was filled with all these nice church ladies, overflowing into the hallway,
and down the front steps. Down comes the national ladies president into the hallway.
She is greeted by many friends. I greeted and welcomed her too.

You'll never guess who is behind me, Leslie, still in her bluejeans with her OJ in hand.

Leslie grabs this president and gives her a big hug.
Leslie then launches into a big story of how
she and the national president were at that local bar,
picking up men, and doing "the hoochey koochey dancing on the table tops!"
Leslie started dancing the hoochey koochey right there!

Oh My Goodness!

The president lady acts very gracious and goes on to greet others.

I gently take Leslie by the arm and bring her back to the kitchen with some of the other ladies.

Leslie's breath - she has alcohol in that OJ and is tipsy as can be.

She also got some black coffee in the kitchen and was kept busy in there the rest of the banquet.

None of us had any idea that Leslie brought a little pocket alcohol flask with her to church.

She did not know the national president, nor had they gone "hoochey koochey dancing
on tabletops together at the local bar."

Just when you think everything is going perfect - check....something happens.

It all went smoothly after that. What else could have happened?

Leslie did get some help for her health problems.

At the time I was just mortified, but now, I just laugh at the memories.

And I am thankful that Leslie got the medical help she needed.

Send this to a friend