realdeal's comments

Should You Confront a Narcissist about their Narcissism? - Blog Entry

23 Jun 2009 09:23 AM

I just found out my "boyfriend" who has NPD joined an online adult site three weeks after we met with the intent to find live sex or "a discreet relationship." Of course I'm devastated. I've had a suspicion since the beginning that he was a sex addict. He's been diligent about convincing me he's trustworthy because I've caught him in a lie already. He's said for months he would never cheat, look at porn online and the I was "the only one" and he never "wanted anyone else."

My dilemma - the relationship is over, no doubt. He's out of town and I've already taken my belongings out of his place. I want to confront him through email about my discovery. I found out about this because I was looking through his email so he's going to rage. I just want him to go away with no problems, no repercussions (him bad mouthing me to colleagues). I've composed an email saying no contact, stay away, I haven't and won't send the incriminating evidence to everyone he knows as long as he respects those wishes and doesn't talk about me to anyone.

I guess the apprehension is him coming after me. He's never hurt me but I've seen one rage and it wasn't nice. He's afraid of my ex boyfriend (who is happily NOT an N and is super supportive) so that will probably never happen but do N's get uncharacteristically violent when confronted?

Any insight to this would be appreciated. What a wild ride. I'm changed forever because of him.