Salena's comments

Dishes Get The Cold Shoulder - Blog Entry

01 Mar 2007 01:06 AM

My dad is 72 years old, my mom 70, they have been putting bleach in our dishwater since I can remember and although like SUPER big parties ( More than 5-8) they wash in HOt, for smaller, family oriented get togethers they have always washed in cold water, and rinsed in cold, wearing gloves to stave off the effects of using bleach in their dishwater. They haven't killed me yet ( although no one could blame them for trying over the years) and they have never given me food poisoning, not once in 40 years ( or each other, I might add). So I guess that is my response

They saved some money My mom swears by Coldwater Tide too. My washer has no cold setting

All About Me- a New Blogger in Town - Blog Entry

25 Feb 2007 09:03 PM

The big thing about EBAY is they are so demanding ( customers) I got tons of negatives and had to actually open a new account becuase when one person steps on teh neg feedback wagon, it seems to give everyone that false sense of courage...No one seems to have the ability to communicate instead of just leave "negative" feedback and don't communicate with your seller.

It's really sad.

But yes, If I could do 500.00 a month with Ebay , 1500.0 or more auditing and then I do merchandising AND get death benefits from my daughters dad, I do ok as a single mom.

If I make more on EBAY Yeah me...I just can't mail stuff as quickly as I'd like and yes, if I have a crappy day on Ebay, I do some extra shops, but if it's a crappy MONTH for Shopping ( Like Jan and Feb) and a crappy month for Ebay, I feel like strangling someone!!!

"My Child Keeps Staring into Space." Is it ADHD? Or a Seizure Disorder? - Blog Entry

25 Feb 2007 08:54 PM

It was hard and I am glad that you accept that there are other options. CHelsea was misdiagnosed for so long and bipolar is such a mis understood disease.

The only reason I recognized it is becuase I am bipolar, and I think the point I was making ( By the way, I still stare off into space.....) is ADHD can very easily graduate into bipolar disease and the earlier you see it ( If it happens) the more qualified you will be to handle it.

I really wish you luck, either way, it's a challenge to raise any child with a mental disorder, I've been doing it for 13 years and the one thing I can tyell you, in this case, is as long as you face it head on and are determined and strict ( yes, I watched my best frined lose control of her ADHD child and now he's a high school drop out and she is miserable )you will succeed and I wish you the best of luck because IT DOES get better with age. My daughter ( although BP) is a relatively well anf high functioning teenager.

Also, most kids with ADHD or BP disorder tend to be the smartest and most gifted children around, especially when their energy level is high!!!

Single Parenting and Intimacy - Blog Entry

25 Feb 2007 11:46 AM

I have a question. I have a gentleman who I am "friends" with. We have lunch, dinner etc. He has never stepped foot into my home, he has met my daughter ( she comes with us to lunch etc etc ) She doesn't LOVE him but he's been friends with me for 2 years now. He PO's me off a lot becuase he seems to always be trying to one up me. IE: I think he lies a lot about what he has done, not major things, but small things, I mean really small things and the problem is since I suffer from need to know it all -ness so I research his stories, sometimes he's telling the truth, sometimes he's not. POint being. I am not intimate with him becuase he really claims he is 100% honest with me all the time and when I call him out, he asks "Do I ttake notes?" "Am I one of his audits?" "Do I always remember everything everyone says and use it against them later?" (He told me months ago he had no credit because he was homeless for a while and extended himself etc etc... then yesterday he said he got an account with Verizon....I asked for his new cell phone number and he said he wasn't giving it out, he was keeping his other cell phone number and using the TREO he bought as a modem (NO A ROUTER>>>>and yes I corrected him on this) as an experiment. Point is since I am a Mystery Shopper and a Verizon customer I know if he has no credit and poor credit he would never qualify for an account with them. The bells and whistles again went off in my head...needless to say, I called him on it and he said "I'll talk to you later)

The place I am going with all this is he's made his interest in me very very apparent for the past 2 years and he KNOWS I'm not giving in any time soon. He says he's ok with that. So my question to you is, since he knows I am not giving in BUT I have discussed his lack of honesty and why he does it, is this a man who is REALLY interested in me ( 2 YYEARS and NOTHING!!!) or why is he still hanging around?

By the way, don't think for one minute I don't think I am better than him. I do. Period. Think I am better than him

Where Do You Go for Parenting Advice? - Blog Entry

24 Feb 2007 09:54 PM

I don't want or need advice, I do what my mother did, the best I can and if I have issues, I call and tell my sister I am going to yell at her know for about 2 minutes to get my frustration out ( Or my dad, or my mom) but I never ask for advice. I have been a single parent since the day my kid was born and I get more UNWANTED advice than I can use. I try really hard not to dispnse advice either, since I suffer from"know it all -ness" and most parents, I feel are in the same boat I am in. I go with my gut instinct and I realized several years ago that my gut instincts are generally better than any advice given to me from anyone else because every mom thinks their right (don't you) so I just get frustrated and call someone to yell at them so I don't yell at (or kill) my kid..and believe me, there are several times I have wanted to physically kill my poor little 13 year old. I figure it this way, I brought her into this world and I vowed that since I made the concious decision to do this, I don't have the right to ask ( since very few supported my desicion to be a single parent) I find that having someone to vent on is much better than any advice they could give me, and it seems to be healthier in the long run for me becuase I don't agree with a lot of the advice I get anyways and do it my own way in the end anyways.

Dating Tips for the Single Mom - Blog Entry

24 Feb 2007 09:35 PM

I REFUSE to date. I haven't had a date in 7 years, I have volunteered my time as a Commissioner for Cleveland Softball, I work full time etc.. but I ABSOLUTELY refuse to bring someone into my home or my life until I am sure that they are permenant. I feel the S word is unacceptable to introduce any young child ( my daughter is 13) to and although many people here will disagree, why would I want to show my daughter that premarital sex or anything of that type is ACCEPTABLE at all. It is not, that's why there are so many un wed mothers out there because they have learned from their parents that being "easy" is an acceptable way to act. It's bad enough my daughter has to see it on EVERY TV station she watches , much less her mother teaching her being a "w.." is ok.

I havre male friends and I go to dinner with them and talk to them but not a one of them has ever stepped foot into my home and they never will. Dating as a single parent may be "healthy" but I disagree whole heartedly. This is my take and I guess I am entitled to my opinion. I don't teach Chelsea that dating is bad or that boys are evil, I just make her aware that there are lines you never cross, no matter what your age.

I also encourage her to talk to me about boys and crushes etc and she tells me about crushes but she is aware that she will not date until she is at least 16 years old..

OH MY GOODNESS!!! What are you doing to yourself? Where's your sense of independence and you "me" time? As many will ask. I travel 8-10 hours a day, right now I am considering HS, but my daughter has school still so I get plenty of ME time. My daughter has never kissed, touched or anything with a boy and probably won't for a while because of the values I have instilled in her. She has no desire to date ( as it should be at 13) and I am proud when I see all the young girls walking around pregnant in her school or pushing baby carriages to the Catholic High School that is attached and I realize that my daughter is sooo going to have a much greater fighting chance than any of those girls. And no, unless you LIVE it you can't teach it. So if my kid sees me dating she will want to date so I learn to control my impulses to make her a better and healthier and more respectful child. I'm sure you don't agree, but my kid is growing up in the lower income area of Cleveland because A: You only live where you can afford to live (if I lost my job, I could still pay my mortgage because I don'ty live beyond my means) so teaching her to abstain is THE ONLY alternative and since kids emmulate their parents, I refuse to be the reason my daughter will be pregnant at 16 because I couldn't abstain myself... Same with dating. Priorities should be work, school and self, men come and go and she should know that, but self worth lasts a lifetime.

Four ideas to save on the cost of child raising. - Blog Entry

13 Feb 2007 07:17 AM

The old adage doesn't always apply here. HI!!!! I'm new and I've posted a few times already. I don't care and I'm not ashamed to say I make between 30000-40000 as a single mom and raise my daughter, singlehandedly ( her father died of cancer 2 years ago, but he wasn't much help to begin with as we were never together). It is possible to raise a kid on WAY less than 250,000.

First: you want her in colege? Pay for it now. You can buy state college funds for pennies on the dollar when your child is youg, For those of you that don't know how to do this, email me. My daughters college is paid in full right now, and she is 13. They are state funds that you buy then they send you a voucher for each semester. Be prepared to invest a couple of grand, better than 25-30 grand down the road. This is open to EVERYONE with children and NO ONE utilizes it ( Thank Bill Clinton for allowing it to happens, Thnks to George W for help sweeping under the rug...)

2: So your three year old wants a princess bed? When my daughter was three she wanted a caopy bed. We made a game out of it. We took a day, looked up every Goodwill and used furniture store in a 20 mile radius of Cleveland and off we were. Did we find it? No, but we found a nifty race car bed at a Goodwill in Lakewood and, her, being around the same age as yours was, had a pretty fast change of heart. I bought it and had it delivered ( some of the larger Goodwill/St. V's will deliver for a small fee) for less than 40.00

3: Take your daughter with you to Goodwill. Teach her brand names NOW!!! Why? So when she becomes a teenager she knows what is HOTT and b, she knows where to shop. My daughter is 13 and although the age is rough and the lure to go to the mall is great, she'd rather hunt and pick at Goodwill becuase the satisfaction of finding that great deal for 1 10th of the cost to her is much more satisfying. When Chelsea was little and I found a great top like a Dana Buchman, or a DKNY or J. Peterman pants I always did a little dance of joy. I nade her realize that finding the mint article of clothing was more precious than just going to the mall and buying it. Same goes now for her Abercrombie and Aeoropostale, her self worth goes up beca use she feels she "earned" those pants by searching.

3: Kids won't sit still at Goodwill? Suck it UP MOM! Keep them still and make it a fun game to search. Create your own dance of joy. Same thing goes for Grocery shopping. Dance of joy when you find great bargins in the bargin/day old bin at the Grocery Store. Not only are you teaching her value, you are teaching obedience when she can make a great day out of spending it with mom and REWARD ( I know NEVER reward...BULL) her for sitting still, no matter what.

4 Finally, how many of us have seen that spoilt child who screams for that 1.99 piece of crap that is at a supermarket and is ultimately embarressed because the parent has to drag their kid out of the store, or worse, continue to shop while their child is throwing a temper tantrum. Pick your battles wisely, young mothers. How many of us ARE that mother with the screaming kid? ( Oh come ON!!! Even I have been there) Please when Chelsea got like that I would grab her face, get near her face making sure she couldn't look away and say in my most low and threatening voice " I will NOT tolerate this. PERIOD. You will NOT embarass me in Public and you will be punished if you do NOT stop now" Then I would tap her on the mouth, NOT slap, but not gentle either. Please, young moms, put the FEAR of GOD into your children NOW and when they are older, they will listen and then explaining money to them and why they can't have whatever they want when they want will actually mean something to them.

Oh and yes, sure you can disagree,(corporal punishment, not my style, just let him/her cry it out...etc. etc... nope, doesn't work, tried it) but if you want to pay 300.00 for that pair of jeans down the road... take complete control Now. Do you want you child to listen to you when they are 14? Then make sure they are respectful of you , and a little frightened of you, now. No Salena, I NEVER want my child frightened of me, ever, I will raise a dysfunctional teenager...No you will raise a dysfunctional teenager if they are NOT a little scared of you and the consequences of their actions at a young age. This way when you say NO to their begs and pleas for money, they wil know NO, means NO

Lastly: Riding lessons? Girls Scouts? Saxaphone, softball? Yep they all cost money. Cheerleading? Be prepared. Not only financially but also emotionally. Too many parents make the mistake of keeping their child in an activity that they feel is good for the child becuse it will encourage "grath" in them. Chelsea did sax, she hated it, she was a cheerleader for 2 years, she didn't want to anymore. Don't be afraid to pull them out or not send them back. There are other activities out there they might be better and more successful at and NOT be a drain on your budget, especially if they show little or no improivement. It took us 4 years to find out what Chelsea was good at, softball. Then I found a teaching league in Cleveland to take her, then I volunteered some of my time to get the fees reduced ( don't be afraid to ask, many smaller leagues even will give you reduced or deferred fees if you give up some of your precious time to help them, plus, more time with your child BONUS!!!SCORE!!!) Now I am female commisioner for Cleveland Inner City Urban Girls softball and my daughter is happy and healthy and already being scouted for College and High School becuase I wasn't afraid to search for what she was good at and wasn't afraid to pull her from what she wasn't. There's MONEY welll SPENT!!

Good luck

"My Child Keeps Staring into Space." Is it ADHD? Or a Seizure Disorder? - Blog Entry

13 Feb 2007 02:24 AM

Hon, I'm not 100% sure your daughter is ADHD. Please don't yell at me....I was diagnosed for years as ADHD becuse of my lack of focus, glassy eyed stares, hyperactivity and the "crash" sleepiness. Many Drs. don't want, or care to be bothered with the possiblilty that 90% of ADHD children are misdiagnosed.

My daughter had symptoms like yours. The adhd meds made her sleepy, glassy and "not herslf". I saw myself stepping down the same road my parents did 25 years earlier.

So I had her retested, and then blood tested, and then, chemically tested. As I had suspected, my child was BiPolar. Very common nowadays and possibly the most widely misunderstood and mis diagnosed ailment in children today.

My mother (retired nurse) my years of being Bi-Polar ( oh, about 40 now) and my years of being mis diagnosed keyed me in on the diagnosis.

I encourage every single parent who has a child that has beeen diagnosed with ADHD to at least get a 2nd, maybe even a 3rd opionion. Many Drs. now feel that ADHD simply IS Bi-Polar in children. No ifs and or butts.

Now if you are confident your child is ADHD and you feel that your child has been correctly diagnosed ( as I'm sure you do) then you need to STILL talk to your pediatrician about what lies ahead for you down the road. Becuse as I have learned by experience and being around a family of physicians and friends who also are, almost all ADHD children grow up to BE bi-polar ( hence the belief that ADHD is the child hood form of Polarity).

I am 41 and I still stare into space.

Please do NOT take offense, the best defense is a great Offense ( I believe Knute Rockne said that )

Traveling Single Parent, is Homeschooling a Good Idea? - Blog Entry

12 Feb 2007 09:36 PM

Actually, I have a DRs appointment Friday. I did go to Web MD and typed in my symptoms and guess what came up, especially under the "prism effect ( I see, in daylight, everything split into rainbows) GLAUCOMA!!!! Yeah me, let's throw a Glaucoma party!! You bring the chips!!!

I made an appointment asap. That's why alot of my blogs/comments are mispelled because I can't see out of my left eye.

There is plenty wrong with me but my kid is not one of those things. I asked if she was bored today when she went with me. She said she wasn't and she wants to be with me. She said she is my best friend and although she has plenty of friends ( our phones blow up constantly with people calling her) so socialization is not an issue ( I've heard that can be one of the largest issues with HS, getting proper socialization) and she acts and talks like a 20 year old so I know ( as do her teachers) she is a smartie but... she just wants to be with me/

Five Tips to Help You Stop Using the Credit Cards - Blog Entry

12 Feb 2007 09:23 PM

Why do you think I went from 3 to one card. The ouch factor ( ohhhh, that really does hurt) . Some months I spend nothing, some months I spend the whole 650. POint being I do understand some people have different higher or lower budgets, but right now. I have a guardian "accountant", my mom, who is a retired accountant and I have tried to pay partials in the past and she will ACTUALLY CALL the credit card company, see what my balance is (scary eh) and supplement the check (partial) and pay it off in full. She says if I can't pay it off in full....again can't afford it.... Yes, it is a little controlling, but I'll tell you what, I am relieved with it NOT hanging over my head and, although it is kind of controlling of my mom, I hired her to account my business for a reason. I have absolutely NO debt whatsoever. Even my house is paid off. and I still have money in the bank. She just has severe ways of saving and I don't make that much, trust me, maybe a little more than some, but personal pride in what you have accomplished is the primary goal here... and paying off the card once and for all.

I do think once or twice before I ever pull the card out after a few 600 dollar monthl payoff....(sometimes it's simply a no brainer...do I need it, do I want to pay another 650.00 this month,,,ahhh no)