09 Mar 2009 08:35 PM

Need to vent somewhere

I have been married now for about three years, my husband is wonderful, his only fault, and the only disagreement we have is about his daughter.

I met her when she was 20. In the year before her dad and I married, I saw her maybe four times.  We would go out to eat, or do something together as a 'family', she rarely had time for us, and we lived about an hour and a half drive from each other.  She rarely called the house.  She was always with her friends and she was going to a licensed vocational nurse program at a local highschool to become a LPN.  Her dad supported her the entire year in a house across from the school, so she didn't have to support herself while she was studying.

We got married after she graduated and she moved from Missouri to Indiana with us.  I own a house in Indiana, and my children and grandchildren live here.  My husband didn't have any family in Missouri except his daughter, so it made sense for her to move here with us.  She also wanted to work on her RN.

The conflict started on our wedding day.  What a mistake I made getting married in Florida where his parents live, at Christmastime, and taking her with us.  I never realized how manipulative, and self centered this child was.  At our reception, she takes out her graduation DVD and plays it for the family. She could have played it at any time during that week, but no, she had to play it at the reception.  She always tries to make everything about her.  She likes to be center of attention, and she will do whatever she has to   in order to have her daddy's attention.  She also plays the hurt little victim to a hilt.  Her bad behavior every month is to be tolerated because she has PMS really bad.  She was put on birth control because her PMS was so bad.  On our honeymoon, she thought daddy would be doing things with her everyday. 

Came back from the honeymoon, and started living as a family.  My daughter was living at home at the time with her son because I asked her to watch the house for a couple of years while I was a traveling nurse.  That made for a very wrong combination for many reasons.  My stepdaughter wanted to run the house, thought she would be making the rules.  I put my foot down.  She actually told me what I could say about her mother in my house.  She did it on purpose to irritate me.  She comes down in this drip honey voice, and tells me, "And I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything bad about my mother."  I told my husband she did it to pick a fight, he said his daughter would never do anything like that.  Bull!  She later admitted that she did just that.  For four months, she didn't even make an effort to pay her way.  She actually expected us to pay for her car insurance, doctor's appointments, birth control etc, but had enough money to go back to Missouri twice to see her boyfriend.  I told her I would say whatever I wanted to about anyone in my house, and if she didn't like it, she can go to her room or over to her friend's house.  She left, and lived with her friend until she moved back to Missouri.  She was going to move in with her boyfriend, who lives with his parents.  She found out he was cheating on her and she moved in with a childhood friend and lived off of her for six months, and didn't help them out with living expenses either.

She has shown a pattern of going from one person to another, mooching off of them, or getting a boyfriend to support her, and then giving her dad a sob story and playing sweet innocent little daughter.  We let her move back in four months ago and she did the exact same thing again, moves out into an apartment with a new boyfriend, he 's supporting her, and they are engaged.  The have only dated for six months, four of those months have been over the phone only.  This was a man she knew for two months before she moved in with us the last time.

I am going through menopause and wanted to try to do it naturally.  I was going crazy, and over reacted emotionally to some of her games.  Started hormones, feel sane again, and she moves out while we are in Missouri telling her father that she just doesn't think her and I are going to make it work.  If anyone should understand hormones and emotions, especially with her PMS, I would think it would be her. 

I don't want anything more do with her.  My husband doesn't see the games that she plays, because that is his only child, and he didn't get her until he was 38.  He procreated with a bipolar, alcoholic, drug addict, and someone who has three pages of rap sheets, and is a whore.  His ex has Hepatitis b and c, and is on disability for her bipolar diagnosis.  Unfortunately, my stepdaughter is just as manipulative as her mother, and knows every game in the book.  The smile sweetly, talk sweet, and makes it out like she's the victim.  Wonder where she learned that? Here's the kicker...............my husband is a psychologist, and he can't see a thing she is doing.  My stepdaughter just found out she has herpes now.............I'm shocked she didn't convince him she got it off of a toilet seat somewhere.  She's only had four sexual partners this year.

I can't stop her from coming to the house and I know it.  But I did tell her that her boyfriend wasn't allowed on my property and he wasn't welcomed in my house.  I haven't seen her over here since, and I like it.  Now if only my husband would make her grow up and become responsible instead of feeding her dependency, I would be a lot better.  I don't trust her and I think she is trying to break up my marriage and get her daddy all to herself again.  I am the first woman that he dated since his divorce, and his daughter had him all to herself for a long time.

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