sharlamay's commentsComments On: EverythingArticles Blogs Journals Photos created by: Everyonesharlamay Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry09 Nov 2007 07:13 PM Yes well psychiatrists over here just gave me allot of medication until I was completely wack-o and had to be hospitalized. I presented the problem to the one even reading one of Mom's famous hate letters and he all but laughed it off- Do you think you could help me? Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry09 Nov 2007 08:59 AM I still can't delete that first long entry, 04 Nov 2007 07:13 AM, I made so if you can please do it for me? I don't think I'll ever get over my Mother as she is so "perfect". It's hard to find flaws in perfect people and her very rare times she was loving was like an irresistible cool mountain stream on a very hot and thirsty day so long ago but my memory clings to it and I'm obsessed with how to please Mom one more time. I don't think it's going to happen, you know, and I've decided not to roll with the punches anymore because in doing so I roll right over myself and my right to feel. I wonder if you could suggest a book Beth? I didn't realise you had written books also on the subject. I think this forum is a life saver for those of us who have to struggle with this problem that often times other family members don't really know what is really going on. I have a half brother and stepdad that both enable Mom. Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry08 Nov 2007 11:26 AM Another great movie "SHINE" (1996)based on a true story about a piano player, David Helfgott, and the devastating effects his narcissistic father had on him and how he survived in spite of him. I've read some books but they didn't help much because I still felt really alone in dealing with "My Problem" as nobody else seemed to be able to understand me as Mom is good at victimizing to other family members making me into the black sheep of the family. By the way would you please delete my first comment for me as I don't feel safe even with this. I do think I'll try the online counceling as I have to have help somehow. You see I both love and feel rage for Mom. I also think I'm a sort of "bad seed" for feeling any ill will towards Mom but I wasn't given any other choice. Get it? Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry08 Nov 2007 10:41 AM I found the movie "White Oleander" with Michelle Pfeiffer to be an amazing accurate of what a narcisstic destructive mother is like. It was a wonderful interpetation also by the actress that played her daughter, Alison Lohman. Dealing with a Narcissistic Mother - Blog Entry04 Nov 2007 09:13 AM Hi talking about Mom. I'm now 52 years old and live over seas thank God and I always thought my problem was my step dad even though my psychiatrist at age 16 told me it wasn't. He wouldn't tell me it was Mom because he said he was afraid of a law suit. However in 1994 when I went home all we did, Mom and I, was argue and Mom got really nasty. She said "all I have to do is to say one word to your Dad and he would throw you out like that". To tell you the truth I wish I'd gathered my things and left as it has never gotten any better. I told Mom her house was full of gifts I'd given her but she can't even send a T-shirt to her Grandson for his birthday nor cares to get to know him. Mom is rich, when she remarried she married a provider 12 years her junior. He built her a fabulous house that she won't even clean in a vary expensive neighborhood. Mom hates her neighbors and complains about them all the time even when walking with me and wasting what little precious time she has with me. My husband and I went to see my parents last year. My husband hadn't been back to see them in 15 years. He worked in their garden and also their renters garden, we walked to the grocery store and bought grocery's and cooked meals for them since she doesn't do that anymore either. I cleaned the house as best I could but saw it wasn't worth my time as she didn't care. They decided, mostly my step dad, that they would open an account in my name to put "Xmas and birthday" money on it instead of sending gifts. I said o.k. and they told me to let it collect and so I thought to put my son's name on the account along with hers and mine. I thanked them both for the account but Mom didn't seem to like the idea after all and kept saying "I'm not going to do anything about that account", out of the blue for no reason but to irritate me. I've learned over the ages not to give into her tyrants, though, as SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT! The thing that hurt me the most is when I was asleep on the couch at 2 in the morning and she came down stairs and said she wanted "to discuss" something with me. The word "discuss" being a warning bell for me, she then said after a moment of silence that the money was not so my husband could use it. I just looked at her and said "what are you talking about?" She said "Well, just listen and I'll tell you, and I answered "no way this is my husband your talking about and he has no interest what so ever in that account- I'm going to bed". But as I was half way up the stairs she said in her evil mean voice "well maybe we shouldn't do this?" I said "do what?"(thinking she meant the account) and she said "discuss this" I said "what is there to discuss if you don't trust him"? She then got all evil and furious and literally roared "I DIDN'T SAY THAT-GO TO BED!" Mom si evil and the insults she inflicts are just so horrible. I just looked at her with pleading eyes, but not saying anything though I wondered "why can't you appreciate and love us? My God your lucky and so many people would have been able to appreciate and love us without having to rip my heart out for you all the time.!" I felt sorry for my husband after he worked so hard and long in her garden instead of enjoying his vacation time. Now Mom isn't contacting me and I'm all out of giving to get nothing in return but hateful attacks. I do think these narcissists are evil-you can just see it in their eyes when they are defied because you aren't giving them enough of their narcissist supplies |
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